IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

Today's
Change preposition
In today's
show examples
 era ,
people
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time outside and
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 phones for their entertainment and making relationships. So
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 so many problems are suffered by
people
Use synonyms
 with these issues. The first and foremost is
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not interact with their neighbours and
becoming
Verb problem
are becoming
show examples
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
.
By
Change preposition
Because of
show examples
this
Linking Words
issue
Add a comma
issue,
show examples
 they are facing more problems related to their body.Second ,
by
Change preposition
due
show examples
 the
urbanization
Change the spelling
urbanisation
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
moving
Verb problem
are moving
show examples
 from rural areas for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
better jobs. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 they are
loosing
Use the right word
losing
show examples
 contact with their neighbours and just depending on their jobs and
loss
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 interaction with their loved ones.
From
Change preposition
To
show examples
 overcome
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems
Punctuation problem
problems,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need to
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
some public
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
 and some
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
 to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
 with their neighbours . And need to spend some time on their phones and
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 them full
from
Check wording
support from
show examples
 their side . Conclusion-
according to
Linking Words
 my side head of the
community
Use synonyms
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 functions for the
public
Punctuation problem
public,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they can know about the
community
Use synonyms
 and
community
Use synonyms
sense
Punctuation problem
sense,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help them
for engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 in their
community
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a short line about the topic, then give 2 or 3 ideas, and end with a short note.
coherence
Make each idea in its own paragraph. Use words like first, next, also, and finally to show full links.
grammar
Check subject and verb in each sentence. Use simple tense and short sentences.
content
Give one small example for each idea to show how it changes life for people.
content
The topic is clear and you state a view.
structure
You say a plan to bring people to meet, which can help.
content
There is a sense of need for restart in city life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • community sense
  • social bonds
  • isolation
  • social ties
  • social support systems
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • disconnected
  • communal support
  • community resilience
  • community engagement
  • social programs
  • community spaces
  • amenities
  • mixed-use developments
  • local governance
  • neighborhood associations
  • shared sense of ownership
What to do next:
Look at other essays: