IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

To meet the growing need for food by an increasing population, a country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that such foods are not only unhealthy but affect the nature too. Discuss both the viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Essay
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 Genetically Engineered
Foods
Use synonyms
 – Boon or Bane? With the global population rising rapidly, many countries are struggling to ensure
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 supply. Some argue that genetically engineered (GE)
foods
Use synonyms
 offer a viable solution to meet
this
Linking Words
 growing demand,
whereas
Linking Words
 others contend that
such
Linking Words
foods
Use synonyms
 pose
health
Use synonyms
 risks and disrupt the natural ecosystem.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand, proponents of genetically engineered
foods
Use synonyms
 believe they are essential to address
food
Use synonyms
 shortages. These
foods
Use synonyms
 can be modified to increase yield, resist pests, and thrive in harsh conditions
such
Linking Words
 as drought or poor soil quality.
For instance
Linking Words
, genetically engineered rice enriched with additional vitamins has helped combat malnutrition in several developing nations. By improving
both
Use synonyms
 the quantity and nutritional value of crops, countries can move towards
food
Use synonyms
 security and reduce dependency on imports.
Thus
Linking Words
, GE technology is perceived as a scientific breakthrough that could help feed the world’s ever-growing population.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents claim that genetically modified
foods
Use synonyms
 can have harmful consequences for
both
Use synonyms
 human
health
Use synonyms
 and the environment. They argue that long-term consumption of
such
Linking Words
foods
Use synonyms
 may lead to unforeseen
health
Use synonyms
 issues,
such
Linking Words
 as allergies or resistance to antibiotics.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the modification of crops can unintentionally affect biodiversity—altering soil composition and threatening natural species through cross-pollination.
Moreover
Linking Words
, critics believe that excessive reliance on genetically engineered crops could give rise to corporate monopolies in the agricultural sector,
further
Linking Words
 harming small farmers and natural farming practices. In my view, genetically engineered
foods
Use synonyms
 carry
both
Use synonyms
 potential and peril.
While
Linking Words
 they can indeed play a vital role in combating hunger, their use must be carefully regulated. Governments should enforce strict testing to ensure safety and environmental sustainability before introducing
such
Linking Words
 products to the market. Combining biotechnology with traditional farming could be the key to achieving
both
Use synonyms
 innovation and ecological balance. In conclusion, genetically engineered
foods
Use synonyms
 have the potential to alleviate global
food
Use synonyms
 shortages, but their risks cannot be overlooked. A balanced approach—embracing technological advances
while
Linking Words
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 and environmental ethics—will be essential for ensuring a sustainable
food
Use synonyms
 future. Band-level note:
This
Linking Words
 essay would likely achieve Band 8–9, as it demonstrates clear structure, balanced argumentation, precise vocabulary, and strong cohesion. Would you like me to rewrite it at a Band 7 or Band 6 level (simpler vocabulary and sentence structure)?

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

strength
Task response is strong. The essay covers both sides, states your view, and gives a plan for future rules.
improvement
For score to rise, keep a simple, clear link between all ideas. Use more direct short sentences.
improvement
Use a few more specific examples and explain how they help the point. Also give clear effect on health and nature with simple words.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body parts, and end.
content
Balanced view and a good move to give your own view.
cohesion
Good linking words like On one hand and On the other hand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: