IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measure will be needed. Discuss both sides.

There is an ongoing debate about
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 as a
punishment
Use synonyms
 to reduce
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 is the best way to
deterring
Wrong verb form
deter
show examples
 criminals,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that there are
severals
Use the right word
several
show examples
 methods
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be more positive.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both views and explain why I support the latter opinion. On the one hand, supporters of capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 claim that
death
Use synonyms
 is the
most fairness
Replace the word
fairest
show examples
 solution for
victim's
Correct article usage
the victim's
show examples
 family and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 way to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
show examples
 since we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 seen many prisoners killed
peopl
Correct your spelling
people
 in jail or after
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 released
due to
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 by
death
Use synonyms
will
Check wording
penalty will
show examples
assist to
Rephrase
help
show examples
 reduce
rime
Use the right word
crime
show examples
 in general.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
islamice
Correct your spelling
Islamic
 countries where the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 is applied show the minority of
rime
Use the right word
crime
show examples
 rate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents
supposed
Wrong verb form
suppose
show examples
 that
death
Use synonyms
punishment
Use synonyms
 is against
humunity
Correct your spelling
humanity
 and it
most
Use the right word
must
show examples
 be forbidden
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there is another
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
 way to
decline
Verb problem
deter
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crims
Use the right word
crime
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many criminals are
tennegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 or people who
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
show examples
 from
drags
Use the right word
drugs
show examples
 or
poverity
Correct your spelling
poverty
due
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
so
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they need
rehabitilation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
take
Verb problem
to take
show examples
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by
death
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
caital punishemnt
Correct your spelling
capital punishment
 will not reduce the problem but will create a new one. In conclusion, both sides present
vaild
Correct your spelling
valid
 arguments. So, I totally believe that
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 a
soultion becouse
Correct your spelling
solution because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that will make the government
quilty
Use the right word
guilty
show examples
 and they should make a balance between their citizens.

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grammar
Work on grammar and sentence form. Many sentences have spelling and grammar mistakes that make meaning hard.
coherence
Clearer links of ideas. Use linking words to show contrast and order (however, on the other hand, in addition).
content
Explain main ideas with clear examples. Give one solid example for each side.
grammar
Keep to one tense and form. Use present simple to discuss general rules.
grammar
Fix spelling errors that confuse meaning (crime, deter, capital, punishment).
structure
Structure better: introduction with plan, body paragraphs for each view, conclusion restating stance.
structure
Essay has a clear plan with both sides and final stance.
content
There is an attempt to use examples.
content
Some ideas show awareness of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime
  • crime rate
  • serious crime
  • murder
  • theft
  • punishment
  • death penalty
  • capital punishment
  • life sentence
  • prison
  • jail
  • police
  • court
  • trial
  • judge
  • justice
  • rights
  • evidence
  • proof
  • fairness
  • cost
  • money
  • budget
  • policy
  • reform
  • rehabilitation
  • education
  • work
  • jobs
  • health
  • mental health
  • poverty
  • prevention
  • stop
  • reduce
  • lower
  • safety
  • victim
  • offender
  • community
  • society
  • balance
  • trend
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