IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that they believe it is important to protect the environment but make no effort to do anything about it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What action do you think individuals should take to protect the environment?

In
this
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 fast-evolving era,
people
Use synonyms
 are more
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about the environmental issues. Many opine that it is essential to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
 make limited steps to promote it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore the reasons for
this
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 circumstance
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and suggest actions to safeguard
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature
Use synonyms
. Undoubtedly, the surrounding environment plays a key role in
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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 lives, by providing essential needs,
such
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 as air, water and food.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
aware
Verb problem
are aware
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 of the
needness
Correct your spelling
need
of protecting
Change preposition
to protect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
, they are hesitant
take
Verb problem
to take
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 necessary steps
due to
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 numerous reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals often strive to compete
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other to reach their targets, including achieving a higher income status.
This
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them
to
Verb problem
apply
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have limited time to
lookafter
Correct your spelling
look after
 their surrounding.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 lack the awareness of how to act in an
environmental
Replace the word
environmentally
show examples
 healthy way.
For example
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,
people
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 with limited literacy dispose
waste
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of waste
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to
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on to
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 ground,
instead
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 of putting it in the bins.
Additionally
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, some may avoid testing their vehicle emissions, whether they are eco-friendly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several ways to solve these issues. The environmental health officers should raise
awereness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental health,
such
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 as
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
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 of green-testing for vehicles and promotion of
seperated
Correct your spelling
separate
 bins for disposing
different
Change preposition
of different
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 kinds of garbage.
Additionally
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, the government should regulate the laws to penalise the
people
Use synonyms
 who engage in harmful activities, including illegal logging, deforestation and encroachment. In conclusion, there are several ways
protect
Verb problem
to protect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is everyone's duty to safeguard the sustainability of
Correct article usage
the environement
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environement
Correct your spelling
environment
 and protect it
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.

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language
Make each idea clear. Break long sentences into short ones. Use simple, direct phrases to show cause and effect.
structure
Use a clean plan. Put one idea in each paragraph: why people do not act, and what they should do, then a short conclusion.
grammar
Fix grammar errors and wrong word choices. Use common words and correct prepositions (for example, 'with each other', 'look after').
vocabulary
Add more practical examples of everyday action that people can take now, like recycling, saving water, and using less plastic.
structure
There is a clear plan to discuss both sides of the issue.
structure
An introduction and a conclusion exist and the argument is represented.
content
Some useful ideas are given for actions to take.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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