IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Immigratio
Correct your spelling
Immigration
 has a significant impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Many advantages and disadvantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
immigration
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I want to discuss what
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the main
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
immigration
Use synonyms
and
Verb problem
is and
show examples
 what consequences
can it
Correct word order
it can
show examples
 lead
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 If
people
Use synonyms
 look in
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 way, now I want to tell you about
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 ways
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
immigration
Use synonyms
 in society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
generation
Punctuation problem
generation,
show examples
 many
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 want to get higher education, the good quality education for themselves or their future children
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, many
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 can’t provide that because of many
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
, so pupils
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to study
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
 to
provide
Verb problem
acquire
show examples
 their knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Use the right word
Indonesia
show examples
Indonesian
Punctuation problem
Indonesian,
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 they don’t have
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
Human
Change preposition
in Human
show examples
 Development for
student
Check wording
apply
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undergraduate
,
Check wording
students, is
show examples
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 only for
second
Correct word choice
second-year
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 graduate
Check wording
students, the
show examples
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 in Indonesia
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not that
much
Correct word choice
diverse
show examples
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
specific rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
 is, the workers,
Linking Words
furthermore
Punctuation problem
furthermore,
show examples
 technology
develop
Wrong verb form
has developed
show examples
 significantly and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 many
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 to work in other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, to provide more money.
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
full day
Use the right word
full-day
show examples
 worker in Indonesia
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 100,000 rupiah
per-day
Use the right word
per day
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 in Australia just for
3
Correct word order
just 3
show examples
hours, you can get the same salary, so a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 choose to work and
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe every decision
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we made
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 had
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 or positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 us. Same for
immigration
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 who moved to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, I can
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 they are brave, because I believe
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not easy, we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to learn
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the culture, the weather,
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
, many things that you have to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
. But the positive things, you can learn more, you can find a new perspective of other
people
Use synonyms
 more, you can meet many friends, and you become
more brave
Correct word choice
braver
show examples
 because
is
Verb problem
it's
show examples
always not
Correct word order
not always
show examples
 easy to be a minority.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are several
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 choose to go outside the
country
Use synonyms
, and many negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 you can feel, but so many good
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 if you try to
lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
beside
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your
originally
Replace the word
original
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Add a short intro to tell what you will talk about, then use one idea per paragraph with a clear link to the next idea.
content
Give a clear reason plus a simple example for each point. Use facts you know or simple, real examples.
grammar
Use easier, correct grammar. Check verb form and subject-verb agreement. Use punctuation to show pauses.
cohesion
Use linking words to show order and group ideas, like first, also, but, in addition, for example, and finally.
task
Be sure to answer both parts of the question: main reasons and effects, and include any negative points too.
content
You write on a real topic and try to give real points.
content
You add examples to support your ideas.
structure
You finish with a short closing sentence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
What to do next:
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