IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the percentages of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in Australia working different numbers of
hours
Use synonyms
 per week. The most common working pattern for both genders was 30-50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week. Approximately 45% of
men
Use synonyms
 worked within
this
Linking Words
 range, compared with around 35% of
women
Use synonyms
.
Men
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 dominated the 60-80 hour category, accounting for roughly 30%,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
women
Use synonyms
 was considerably lower at about 20%.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 were more represented in part-time work. Around 15% of
women
Use synonyms
 worked only 0-10
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly, which was three times higher than the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
. A similar trend was observed in the 10-20 hour category, where just over 20% of
women
Use synonyms
 were employed, compared with approximately 10% of
men
Use synonyms
. In the over 80
hours
Use synonyms
 group, both genders showed an equal proportion of about 10%.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 were more likely to work longer
hours
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 were more concentrated in shorter working weeks.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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