Some people say that overeating is harmful and advertising for some food products should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most
people
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are of the opinion that excessive eating is detrimental to human health
and
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, and
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advertising for some
food
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products should be prohibited. But could
this
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really be the best solution? From my perspective, I completely support
this
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view
and
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, and
show examples
this
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essay will examine my reasons. One major reason why I strongly believe that advertisement on certain foodstuffs should be discontinued is
because
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that
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overconsumption poses
serious
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a serious
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health risk
on
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to
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the public. When
vulnurable
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vulnerable
adults and children constantly watch adverts on foods that contain
excess
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excessive
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amount
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amounts
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of
salts
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salt
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, sugar, and fats, they might be influenced to engage in
consumption
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the consumption
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of these
meals
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foods
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.
As a result
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, eating these meals excessively eventually leads to obesity and other illnesses,
such
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as heart
diseases
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disease
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and diabetes.
However
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, should the government
prohibits
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prohibit
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the advertising of unhealthy
food
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products and educate the public on eating healthy, many
people
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would learn to eat a much healthier alternative. Reduced productivity is another reason why some
food
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advertisement
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advertisements
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should be prohibited.
This
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is because excessive
food
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intake usually
lead
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leads
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to fatigue and laziness. When
people
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consume a lot of meals, they become very
exhuasted
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exhausted
and unable to effectively perform their day-to-day activities.
Consequently
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,
due to
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being constantly inactive, their level of productivity reduces drastically.
This
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is why the authorities ought to place a strict regulation
of
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on
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certain
food
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adverts. Doing so would limit
people
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's access to these unhealthy
food
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products. In conclusion,
although
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opinions may vary, I firmly believe that the advertisement of some
food
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items should be prohibited because overeating
tend
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tends
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to cause obesity and other
long term
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long-term
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diseases.
Moreover
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,
people
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are bound to become extremely fatigued and lazy
due to
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eating too much.

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task response
State your view in a clear yes/no and say how strong it is in the intro.
content
Add more simple examples to back each point.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors and make sentences smoother.
coherence
Use clear linking words to show how one idea leads to next.
strength
The writer makes the stance clear from the start.
structure
The plan follows a simple order and is easy to read.
strength
The final part restates the view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ad
  • ads
  • ban
  • limit
  • rule
  • law
  • health
  • food
  • eat
  • child
  • kid
  • parent
  • time
  • age
  • risk
  • plan
  • policy
  • fact
  • label
  • warning
  • choice
  • education
  • business
  • market
  • people
  • they
  • we
  • this
  • that
  • one
  • better
  • see
  • use
  • amount
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