IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that overeating is harmful and advertising for some food products should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely argued that excessive eating has detrimental effects on
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 health and
hence
Linking Words
, promotion of some
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 should be halted. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it is crucial for everyone to eat mindfully and
healthy
Replace the word
healthily
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
overating
Correct your spelling
overeating
 makes
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 mind
lathargic
Correct your spelling
lethargic
as well as
Linking Words
 opens to numerous health issues
such
Linking Words
Diarriaha
Check wording
as diarrhoea
show examples
. It has been
scientfically
Correct your spelling
scientifically
 proven that humans should stop eating when
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 stomach is 80% full.
For instance
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 tradition is widely followed by
people
Use synonyms
 in countries
such
Linking Words
 as
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
. Eating
unneccesrily
Correct your spelling
unnecessarily
 may fill
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
stomch
Correct your spelling
stomach
 to the fullest and bring them pleasure for a moment
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it later
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 the quality of
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 life. Overeating
also
Linking Words
 halts a person's productivity and
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
clear
Replace the word
clearly
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 often
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
 up making a person more sleepy.
Advertisments
Correct your spelling
Advertisements
 from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous
food
Use synonyms
 brands entice
people
Use synonyms
 to try out their
products
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 contributes to
people
Use synonyms
 often eating unhealthy and excessively.
Correct article usage
A Signficant
show examples
Signficant
Correct your spelling
significant
 amount of
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 do not care to check for the ingredients of the
products
Use synonyms
 they are trying and
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 they are good or bad for their health. Promotions, from
such
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
products
Punctuation problem
products,
show examples
 should either undergo a
throgho
Correct your spelling
thorough
 investigation before they are launched in the market or should be banned if they do not hold any nutritional value. Having a good proportion of
nutriotion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 through one's meal is the basic
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 to lead
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle and to be free of any ailments in their life.
To conclude
Linking Words
, undoubtedly
overating detriorates
Correct your spelling
overeating deteriorates
 a person's quality of life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 advertisements of
such
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 that contribute to
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
 lifestyle and overeating should indeed be banned.

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task-response
Your view is clear, but you need more proof and more idea.
task-response
Show balance. Look at both sides, even a little.
content
Some facts are not right. Do not use wrong facts.
language
Fix spelling and grammar; use correct form.
coherence
Link ideas with simple links like and, but, also, for example.
style
Keep to common words; short sentences help.
structure
Your idea is clear and the plan is easy to follow.
content
The essay has an intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ad
  • ads
  • ban
  • limit
  • rule
  • law
  • health
  • food
  • eat
  • child
  • kid
  • parent
  • time
  • age
  • risk
  • plan
  • policy
  • fact
  • label
  • warning
  • choice
  • education
  • business
  • market
  • people
  • they
  • we
  • this
  • that
  • one
  • better
  • see
  • use
  • amount
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