Obesity has become an issue in some western countries, especially among children.What are the reasons behind, and what effects does it have on individual's life

Obesity

Use synonyms

has become a viral sickness that spreads among

children

Use synonyms

. In fact, a laissez-faire attitude from

parents

Use synonyms

and a high-fat diet are the reasons for

this

Linking Words

surge.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

transforms into a downgrade of life expectancy and a decrease in

sports

Use synonyms

practice. A new generation of

parents

Use synonyms

emerged at the start of the 1970s, where most of them wanted to be in contradiction to their

parents

Use synonyms

' way of educating

children

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

created a laissez-faire attitude that allowed new generations to be able to do what they want.

This

Linking Words

included eating fast food more often, thereby,

children

Use synonyms

got a high-fat diet easily. In the USA

particularly

Punctuation problem

, particularly

show examples

, with the implementation of dozens of different fast foods and their rapid expansion,

this

Linking Words

did not help to stop the rise in

obesity

Use synonyms

cases.

Therefore

Linking Words

obesity

Use synonyms

is getting out of control and is harder than ever to stop.

Moreover

Linking Words

obesity

Use synonyms

completely changes the way individuals who suffer from it live. The bigger they are, the harder it is to move, to do

sports

Use synonyms

and every other activity; they can

also

Linking Words

suffer from loneliness

due to

Linking Words

it.

Thus

Linking Words

, a decrease in

sports

Use synonyms

practice can be observed , and the fact that

this

Linking Words

sickness prevents them from doing

sports

Use synonyms

, their body become less and less athletic.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in a weak state, that decline moderately their life expectancy over the years.

Overall

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

' attitude that contributes to a high-fat diet completely changes the way their

children

Use synonyms

will live.

Whereas

Linking Words

the effects are important,

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible in part for the increase in

obesity

Use synonyms

cases and should be more aware of what they are doing.

augustin

Jan 20, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Plan before you write. Make a small plan with what you will say in each part. Use a clear start, body with one idea each, and a short end.

coherence

Make the ideas clear. Start each paragraph with a simple line that tells the point, then add one or two details.

content

Use direct facts or clear examples. Do not change facts. Keep the cause first and the effect later.

content

The essay tries to show causes and effects of obesity, which is good.

coherence

There is use of some linking words to move from idea to idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary lifestyle
nutrient-poor foods
genetic predisposition
socioeconomic status
physical health issues
type 2 diabetes
self-esteem
body-image issues
chronic illnesses
life expectancy
healthcare costs
psychological effects
academic performance
social isolation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Work is being done on the street where you live. The noise is disturbing you. Write a letter of complaint to your local council. In your letter: ■ introduce yourself * explain what the problem is suggest solutions to the problem
I am writing this letter to complain about the noise pollution that has been continuing since last week at night.
6
band
Many people use the Internet as their main educational resource. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?
Nowadays, the internet has become a major source for the educational and professional life of the people. Most parents, teachers, and students believe, the internet plays a great role in the studies of children. However, as well as advantages, there are a plethora of disadvantages too. In this essay, I will discuss both aspects by giving examples.
7
band
These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university.
In the contemporary era, education has witnessed a significant change. With the development of the internet, online classes have become more desirable choices than university-based courses for students. Although internet-based courses are convenient and readily accessible, I believe that students who attend lectures in person receive more benefits.
7
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Some people choose to live in a house, while others prefer to live in an apartment because they believe that there are more advantages. This essay will argue that, despite the fact that living in a house is more spacious, people who live in apartments have more benefits because the security system is better and the price is more economical.
7
band
Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?
Nowadays, numerous people in developing countries have a threat of death because of the inability to pay for medication. In my perspective, I firmly suggest drug organisations lower the cost of medicines, so individuals in developing countries could pay for them. This essay will mention the reasons along with examples of why they should minimise the prices of medicines.

Obesity has become an issue in some western countries, especially among children.What are the reasons behind, and what effects does it have on individual's life

Work is being done on the street where you live. The noise is disturbing you. Write a letter of complaint to your local council. In your letter: ■ introduce yourself * explain what the problem is suggest solutions to the problem

Many people use the Internet as their main educational resource. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?