IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

many governments thinks that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country

Many governments agree that economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is their most important target,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 are equally important for a country. On the one hand, a
country’s
Use synonyms
 foundation lies in its society and economic
development
Use synonyms
, which reflects its standing in the world. Governments in developed countries focus on advancing high technologies
such
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 as semiconductors, artificial intelligence, and manufacturing. These technologies play an important role in strengthening and improving the economy.
In addition
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, economic growth is closely related to taxation, which companies and citizens are required to pay.
This
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 means that if a
country’s
Use synonyms
 economic
development
Use synonyms
 is strong, the government can collect substantial tax revenue. Specifically,
this
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 revenue can be invested in infrastructure and used to improve citizens’ welfare.
On the other hand
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, social issues
such
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 as youth crime, the gap between the rich and the poor, and population ageing require government intervention. Take population ageing as an example: not only is the number of elderly people increasing, but the birth rate is
also
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 declining significantly. If
this
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 situation continues, with a high proportion of elderly citizens and a low birth rate, it will place a heavy burden on the
country’s
Use synonyms
 economy and social welfare system.
This
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mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 are equally crucial for a country. In conclusion,
although
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 economic
development
Use synonyms
 is a major priority for governments, I believe that it should not be the only focus. Other forms of
progress
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as social stability, population structure, and equality,
also
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 have a significant impact on a
country’s
Use synonyms
 long-term
development
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Fix small errors like 'This mean that' to 'This means that'.
lexical
Try to use more plain words from the top 100 list. Some parts may use hard words.
structure
Make a short plan before you write: use one idea per paragraph and link ideas so they fit the task.
task response
The essay shows both sides and makes a clear choice.
coherence
Good linking phrases: 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
structure
Conclusion restates the main idea and ties to the prompt.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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