IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people are using computer and electric device to access information. Therefore, there is no need for printed books, magazine and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

There is a growing number of people
scrolling
Verb problem
searching
show examples
 for information through sophisticated technologies like computers and
electric
Use the right word
electronic
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 devices.
As a result
Linking Words
, producing traditional means of information like paper media
outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
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 should be halted.
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement, as
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that the old ways of information significantly harm the planet through
deforestation
Punctuation problem
deforestation,
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while
Linking Words
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 far more efficient and safe. One major reason for

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task response
The idea is clear, but the essay ends too soon. Add two more reasons and a short final line.
grammar
Fix grammar and word choice. Use 'the production of paper media should stop' and 'electronic devices' instead of 'electric devices'.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Try 'first', 'also', 'but', 'therefore'.
structure
Finish with a short close that restates your view.
content
The writer shows a clear view that digital media can cut the harm to trees.
tone
The tone is direct and fits the task.
content
The idea of new tech versus old paper is easy for the reader to see.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital devices
  • access information
  • printed materials
  • immersive experience
  • environmental concerns
  • tactile experience
  • digital divide
  • relevant
  • technology access
  • eco-friendly
What to do next:
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