Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is often argued that all nations should implement military services on young males and females after finishing their education.

This

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essay will disagree with

this

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statement because it can lead to migration and some people's interests may lie somewhere else. On the one hand, one major factor disadvantage is that it could lead to a rise in the number of migrating students after finishing school. People can be forced to migrate to escape from mandatory services they may not wish to join.

For instance

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, in the year 2000, Lebanon adopted

this

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system for males after finishing their education.

Consequently

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, a significant amount of families who had boys had to migrate to other countries to avoid them from joining the military.

On the other hand

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, another drawback to making

this

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service an obligation is that it may not be in one's interest. Some ambitious students would like to finish their secondary education and would like to pursue a career in areas of their interest without wasting time.

For example

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, individuals who may wish to study arts and science would be less likely to serve in the army.

As a result

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, valuable time would be lost in activities they are not interested in and they could have invested in subjects they desire and are beneficial to their future. In conclusion, in my opinion, the movement of serving in the army should not be obligatory as it would be a waste of time for students who can gain skills and experience in areas of their preference and It can

also

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lead to a significant amount of people leaving their home country.

sara.elkhansaSun Jul 14 2024

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task response

Ensure a more balanced discussion. A robust evaluation would benefit from considering potential benefits as well as drawbacks of compulsory military service.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance overall fluency. Use linking words and phrases to make the essay flow more smoothly.

task response

Provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in making your points more convincing and clear.

coherence cohesion

Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence.

task response

The essay addresses the topic with relevant ideas and maintains focus throughout the response, demonstrating a strong task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
Military service
Conscription
Patriotism
National security
Social equality
Discipline
Physical fitness
Life skills
Job training
Infringement
Conscripts
Gender equality
Mandatory
Economy
Education system
Labor market
Civil service
Alternative forms
Balanced view

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Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

The number of amount of time spent on various leisure activities by four different tourists in Greece in August 2019.

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Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. identify the pros and cons of living in these locations.

Many people think that students should be allowed to choose the subject that they study in school, whereas others feel that they should choose the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.