IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people want governments to spend money on other planets to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
digitilized
Correct word choice
the digital
show examples
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 there is a
dubt
Correct your spelling
doubt
 that
should
Correct word order
governments should
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 research other planets or focus on
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our small Earth. In my point of view,
spendeture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
of researching
Change preposition
on research
show examples
 is
wasting
Wrong verb form
a waste of
show examples
 money for nothing. Today number of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is increasing year by year. Suitable places for living, natural gas, oil and other materials,
water
Use synonyms
 and other
speacial
Correct your spelling
special
 needs are limited. If
astronouts
Correct your spelling
astronauts
 and
reaserchers
Correct your spelling
researchers
 find
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 planet for life, part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity can
collonize
Correct your spelling
colonise
 there.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, in the near
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 may fight for
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 needs of living.
For instance
Linking Words
, today
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 in some parts of the Earth cannot find fresh
water
Use synonyms
 or food.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 should spend money to find new lands for living.
However
Linking Words
, on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 if researchers find solutions for air or noise pollution, humans can live in big megapolises among metal forests. The reason is that
although
Linking Words
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
 and places to live
limited
Verb problem
are limited
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 can expand it vertically
Linking Words
For
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 instance, some farmers in China built farms with dozens of floors
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they are growing plants for
dozen
Correct article usage
a dozen
show examples
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if
governments
Use synonyms
 spend billions of dollars, which
needs
Wrong verb form
is needed
show examples
 for space, for finding vaccines
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some illnesses or cleaning
undrinkeble
Correct your spelling
un-drinkable
water
Use synonyms
, doctors and biologists will save millions of
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if chemists find
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 of killing
micro organisms
Use the right word
microorganisms
show examples
 in
water
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
show examples
 in Africa can use
this
Linking Words
 technology to clean it. In conclusion, I think
governments
Use synonyms
 have to spend more money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 solving problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our small planet,
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
research
Replace the word
researching
show examples
 new
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
 in other
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
Solar
Correct article usage
the Solar
show examples
 system or other
galaxy
Fix the agreement mistake
galaxies
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structural
Plan your idea before you write. Use one idea per paragraph and show how they are linked.
content
Explain your view with a simple reason and a small example. Do not mix many ideas.
language
Use clear and short sentence. Check errors in spelling and word form so your message is clear.
content
You try to discuss both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is a clear end that states your own view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: