IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays education quality is very low. Some people think we should encourage our students to evaluate and criticise their teachers. Others believe that it will result in loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both the views.

Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to various countries, and it
gives
Wrong verb form
giving
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 rise to
creating
Verb problem
apply
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cosmopolitan cities. From my standpoint,
this
Linking Words
 trend is essential for individuals' development. I will elaborate on my reasons for thinking so in the following essay. The main reason for migration is that a significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 have more international occupations, which gives them a chance to work remotely. To be more specific, if competent computer engineers want to move to a different country, they can work from home, and
this
Linking Words
 migration does not affect their working life. Another reason for
this
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 situation is that
having
Wrong verb form
we have
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 advanced transportation systems.
This
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 is because moving to somewhere has become easier than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 past, thanks to high-speed trains and
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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airplanes
Punctuation problem
airplanes,
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 to name but a few.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can be more willing to experience
migrating
Replace the word
a migratory
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life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
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. From my viewpoint, moving to a foreign country plays a central role in shaping
people
Use synonyms
’s personal development.
This
Linking Words
 is because it not only gives
people
Use synonyms
 an opportunity to embrace a new culture but
also
Linking Words
 creates a more enjoyable life.
For instance
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who moved
to
Change preposition
apply
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from Germany to Türkiye
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can enjoy
with
Change preposition
apply
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Turkish delights;
moreover
Linking Words
, they can learn a lot of information about Turkish cuisine and its cultural heritage.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can enhance
people
Use synonyms
’s horizons and support their development. In conclusion, there is an undeniable fact that the world has become more
globalized
Change the spelling
globalised
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 because of the new types of working styles and fast vehicles. I opine that living with
people
Use synonyms
 from different nations and experiencing different cultures
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 paving the way for gaining
full
Correct article usage
a full
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vision and knowledge.

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Task Response
Your view is clear and you give reasons. To reach a higher band, add more detail for each reason, give real examples, and show how ideas link to your view. Try to mention the other side too and end with a strong close that repeats your view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make each paragraph have one clear idea in a simple line. Use easy links like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'then'. Put ideas in a smooth order. Watch long sentences and fix small errors so the read is easy.
Strength
Clear overall view and simple structure
Strength
Some good flow in order of ideas and usable examples
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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