IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The overuse of natural resources cause an ultimate exhaust of them. People have been using them to be in swim of new styles such as making new furniture of recent design. This causes a huge harm to the environment. Therefore, the government should discourage people the overuse of this resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

People
Use synonyms
 have been overusing natural
resources
Use synonyms
 to produce new styles that are in vogue. Some
people
Use synonyms
 may want
this
Linking Words
 to continue
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 others
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 may prefer
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to discourage
this
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. I strongly agree that the government should discourage
people
Use synonyms
 the
overuse
Replace the word
overusing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
natural
resources
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 for the following reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, overusing these natural
resources
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rips
Verb problem
strips
show examples
 the planet
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 natural protection
thereby
Punctuation problem
, thereby
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,
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apply
show examples
 exposing
habitants
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inhabitants
show examples
 to the harsh
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of climate change.
For instance
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, in recent times, in most countries of the world, there as been extreme
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
weather conditions which
where
Use the right word
were
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 formerly not experienced.
This
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 is simply the effect of global warming
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 stems from
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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 of natural vegetation.
Moreover
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, overusing natural
resources
Use synonyms
 most of the time, ultimately leads to environmental pollution since those
comordity
Correct your spelling
commodities
 would definitely become worn-out
requiring
Punctuation problem
, requiring
show examples
 replacement. 
Secondly
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, loss of wild animal natural
habitant
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habitat
show examples
 could happen with
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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 of
forest
Correct article usage
the forest
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 reserve. When animal lose their natural
habitant
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habitat
show examples
, they end up in human
settlement
Fix the agreement mistake
settlements
show examples
.
This
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 is
of
Punctuation problem
, of
show examples
course
Punctuation problem
course,
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 very dangerous because the animals are called wild animals for a reason.
Finally
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, harvesting natural
resources
Use synonyms
 excessively leaves the planet at a deficit. Usually, raw materials are made from decomposing matter, harvested and used by living things. Organic matter from living things
die
Correct subject-verb agreement
dies
show examples
 to
reform
Verb problem
form
show examples
 the natural resource.
Therefore
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, if natural
resources
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 are excessively harvested more than they can be replenished,
then
Linking Words
 we risk the disaster that comes with having an
inbalanced
Correct your spelling
imbalanced
 planet.
People
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 may argue that
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
show examples
 these natural
resources
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 excessively
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 provides
wealth
Correct article usage
a wealth
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 of raw materials for the creation of many beautiful things
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.
For example
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: oil from crude oil,
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
 from timber and beautiful
jewelries
Check wording
jewellery
show examples
 from earth's inorganic matter. They may
also
Linking Words
 argue that it increases a country's revenue. In my opinion, the cons of environmental harm, global warming,
destruction
Correct word choice
and destruction
show examples
 of wild
habitant
Use the right word
habitats
show examples
 far outweigh the pros of revenue creation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I totally agree that the government should discourage the overuse of natural
resources
Use synonyms
.

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language
Fix many grammar and spell mistakes. Small errors make the writing hard to read.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph and keep it clear. Use a simple order in your essay.
content
Add more real detail to back each point. Use plain and concrete examples.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas are linked, like first, next, also, but, so.
grammar
Keep sentences short and avoid long, run-on lines.
content
You show a clear view and restate it in the end.
structure
There is a plan in the essay with a start, middle and end.
content
You talk about real harm to the world and try to explain it.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • resources - things we use to live, such as water, wood, metal
  • environment - air, water, land that surround us
  • government - the group of people who lead a country
  • discourage - to make people less willing to do something
  • overuse - use too much
  • waste - use badly or too much, then throw away
  • design - plan how something will look and work
  • furniture - movable objects like chairs, tables for a home
  • harm - bad effect on something
  • policy - a plan or rule made by government
  • law - rule made by government
  • tax - money charged by government on goods or actions
  • ban - to stop something by law
  • recycle - to use again materials after use
  • reuse - use again
  • sustainable - able to keep going for long time without harm
  • pollution - dirty air, water, or land
  • climate - weather pattern over time
  • habitat - the place where animals live
  • industry - business in a field like wood, metal
  • economy - how a country makes and spends money
  • consumer - a person who buys goods
  • business - company that makes or sells goods
  • education - learning about a topic
  • awareness - knowledge about a topic
  • standard - a level that is set for quality
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