IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that children who commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There is a debate over who should receive
punishment
Use synonyms
 if
children
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 carry out a crime,
while
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 some
saying
Wrong verb form
say
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children
Use synonyms
 are the optimal option, others
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue that
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 taking responsibility by
parents
Use synonyms
 is the best way. In my opinion, punishing
parents
Use synonyms
 has some benefits; the
children
Use synonyms
 will remain the most effective choice to impose
punishment
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 that fits their crime, as these may improve accountability and help them learn by trial and error. Punishing
parents
Use synonyms
 can be an efficient option.
This
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 is because
children
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 is largely influenced by their upbringing.
Parents
Use synonyms
 often give their
children
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 guidance on which way is proper or not,
due to
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children
Use synonyms
 being emotionally immature.
This
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 advantage of
such
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 a
punishment
Use synonyms
 method especially plays a vital role in the upbringing of
children
Use synonyms
 for
parents
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 later in life. Those who opt for
penalizing
Change the spelling
penalising
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parents
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 rather than
children
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 would not only impact strict upbringing, but they would
also
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 prevent
parents
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 from having a lack of supervision.
However
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, imposing penalties on
children
Use synonyms
 is still a better choice. Despite some challenges,
such
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 as mental immaturity and scarcity of parental supervision,
children
Use synonyms
 should bear the responsibility. Because of free-
punishment
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 offences may pose serious consequences, severe criminality, and these factors could turn into a routine.
Therefore
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,
punishment
Use synonyms
that is
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 taken by
children
Use synonyms
 builds a future more brightly.
Children
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 should encounter appropriate consequences to understand the seriousness of their actions, learning from their mistakes, as they
prevention
Check wording
means
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 of
re-offending
Verb problem
preventing re-offending
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, and a source of
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
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 life.

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structure
Plan before you write. Start with a clear view in the intro and end with a short conclusion. Make one clear choice and stick to it in the main part.
grammar
content
The idea that parent action can affect child behavior is shown.
structure
You explain how punishment could make kids see actions as serious.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • children
  • commit
  • crimes
  • punished
  • parents
  • responsible
  • teach
  • right
  • wrong
  • society
  • consequences
  • learn
  • rules
  • guidance
  • behavior
  • future
  • anger
  • resentment
  • upbringing
  • accountable
  • moral
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