IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think importing foreign movies and TV programs is good for a country's culture. Others believe it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Importing films and shows from foreign countries is considered better for the country's culture rather than producing films nationally by some
people
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints
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along
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, along
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 with personal opinion
in
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, in
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 the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, international
movies
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 demonstrate different
cultures
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 and heritage to the wider public.
People
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 living around the globe can access and adopt different cultural values and traditions , which can help them in personal development. Indian TV shows,
for example
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, introduced the concept of Yoga to the world,
consequently
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,
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apply
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 helping millions of
people
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 live a healthy life.
Thus
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, communities can access valuable insights from diverse
cultures
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 through
movies
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 and shows.
On the other hand
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, the great influence of Western
movies
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 can distract
people
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 from their native culture, resulting in the loss of cultural identities. Locally produced films showcase local festivals and traditions, helping the younger generation to connect with them easily.
Movies
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such
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 as Elizabeth I show the true picture of English history, showcasing the dynamics of medieval England. So, it is important to create shows locally to preserve the country's identity. In my opinion,
people
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 can learn about diverse
cultures
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 through international
movies
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;
however
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, nationally made
movies
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 are
also
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 crucial to preserving personal identities.
To conclude
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,
although
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 foreign
movies
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 and shows showcase a variety of
cultures
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 widely, the importance of local
movies
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 cannot be neglected.
People
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 must learn and preserve their own identity first before learning about new countries and traditions.

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task
Task response: The essay covers both sides and gives your view. Add more clear ideas and more proof for each point. Avoid wrong facts and use real examples.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has an intro, body and conclusion. Link ideas better with simple words. Keep one idea per paragraph and use easy joiners like first, also, but, so.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body and conclusion.
content
Balanced view and your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • global understanding
  • dominate
  • traditional values
  • national pride
  • preserve cultural identity
  • creative industry
  • balanced approach
  • regulate
  • cultural exchange
  • collaboration
  • universal appeal
  • overshadow
  • inspire
  • storytelling
  • boost the economy
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