IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Large companies have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems could this cause? What could encourage people to buy more local products?

There is no denying the fact that marketing is a crucial part of any sales process and has a huge impact on consumers’ behaviour.
This
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 essay will discuss the effect of marketing strategies used to attract
people
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 and the solutions that can be applied to encourage them to buy from small local businesses
instead
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.
To begin
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 with, sales plans and promotions influence the way
people
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 buy items.
In other words
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, these strategic plans force
people
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 to pay for more products and services uncontrollably through advertisements and offers.
In addition
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, the effect is not limited to
people
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’s actions only, but
also
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 affects smaller
companies
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 negatively.
For example
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, various well-known
companies
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 offer cheaper and lower-quality furniture compared to local handmade shops. In terms of gravitating buyers toward startup stores, social media can be used by owners to market their products. It is
also
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 possible to say that a lot of home businesses and startup
companies
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 are currently utilising these free platforms to provide the details of their services and to share offers.
Moreover
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,
such
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 businesses can spread widely by participation in campaigns and neighbourhood social activities.
For instance
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, founders can prepare simple and inexpensive giveaways for visitors;
therefore
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, potential customers can become aware of the business and experience its products firsthand. In conclusion, there are many consequences of spending large amounts of money on promoting items on both
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people
Check wording
people's
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 and
companies
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' financial stability. It is
also
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 possible that many simple and cheap solutions can be conducted by small trades to encourage customers to buy from them.

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Task response
Task response: Give a firmer view. Say two or three problems and two or three ideas to help local buys. Give a clear plan or steps.
Coherence
Coherence and flow: Use clear links between ideas. Each paragraph should have one main idea. Use words like first, next, also, but, for example.
Coherence
Intro and ending: Make a small opening that says what you will talk about. End with a short restate of your main point.
Coherence
Main points: Each paragraph should carry one clear idea. If you use many ideas, tell them in order and tie them to the topic.
Content
Examples: Add a small real life example for each point. Use simple facts or small stories we can see.
Language
Language: Use simple words. Try to make sentences short and easy to read. Check errors in spelling and grammar.
Structure
The essay has a clear plan in the start and end.
Style
It uses simple words that readers can get fast.
Content
It gives a real idea of how small shops can use social media.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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