IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Walse between 1918 and 2011

The chart
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
 us know the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 in owned and rented
acommodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 in England and
walse
Correct your spelling
Wales
 from 1918 to 2011. Here we will summarise the important
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 and see the increase and decrease in 1918 and 2011.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
1918
Punctuation problem
1918,
show examples
 the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 25% .
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 contrast, in
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
show examples
 it's
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
 to 65%
while
Linking Words
 in
1939
Punctuation problem
1939,
show examples
 it's
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 to around 30%
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
1971
Punctuation problem
1971,
show examples
 the
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 50% and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 65% in 2011. The
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 increased to around 75% in 1981
also
Linking Words
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011 to around 35% in 1971
Punctuation problem
. it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
equals the
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 50%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the chart shows us that
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in 2011 and 1918 in
1918
Punctuation problem
1918,
show examples
 the
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 drop
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
 time
while
Linking Words
 the
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, accommodation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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