IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, many schools are facing serious issues related to student
behaviour
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 problem and suggest possible solutions. One major cause of poor
behaviour
Use synonyms
 among students is parents being busy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 strict school rules can irritate
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
. Another important reason is
Correct article usage
the increase
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increase
Replace the word
increased
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uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 of mobile phones, social media and violent content.
For example
Linking Words
, many working parents do not have enough time to monitor their children’s activities or correct their
behaviour
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.
As a result
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, students may become aggressive or disrespectful towards teachers and classmates in school. One effective solution could be
parents
Change preposition
for parents
show examples
 and teachers should jointly teach their kids more discipline and
available
Verb problem
be available
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 them
everytime
Use the right word
every time
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 to support their sports competitions and class grades.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 friendly
behaviour
Use synonyms
 with olive increased
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 relationship, which can
reduces
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 their awareness and so on. At the same time, schools need to introduce clear rules and strict consequences for misbehaviour.
For example
Linking Words
, counselling sessions and
behaviour
Use synonyms
-management programs can help students understand the impact of their actions. In conclusion, student misbehaviour is a serious issue caused by several factors.
However
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, with proper measures,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be reduced.

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Task Response
Add more detail for each cause. Show how it leads to bad actions in class. Give a clear example for each point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make ideas fit together better. Use linking words like because, so, and also. Show how a solution comes from the problem.
Content
The essay has a clear focus on causes and solutions.
Examples
There is an example about busy parents and the use of phones.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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