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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learining a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Children
Use synonyms
 in their earlier education years learns a second language faster. Skilled people think that learning
this
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 in primary school is better than
secondary
Change preposition
in secondary
show examples
 school.
However
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, the benefits are large to consider,
as well as
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 the detrimental
.
Check wording
effects.
show examples
 On one hand, an early start gives
children
Use synonyms
 more time to become
proficien
Correct your spelling
proficient
 in
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 accent.
For example
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, a students start to practice when their
minds
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mind
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 clear. The outcome of
this
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 is that they will give all their power and attention to learn
this
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 new foreign accent.
At the end
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 of
this
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, they will become experts,
also
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 they will gain a new culture and be more confident using
this
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 language in the future. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, in order to teach
children
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, the need for extra faculty will increase. Not only does the teacher need to do their work, but
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also the parents
Correct word order
the parents also
show examples
 need to do some additional work.
Furthermore
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, it may be stressful for them to keep learning in both faculty and continue at home. To illustrate,
children
Use synonyms
 lose their focus. They need time to play and learn. If their time is all about learning, they will feel boring
also
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 they will not be in the mood to study. With a good learning method , supporting parents , regular practising and tasks that fit their age, the advantages of learning a new foreign language will be larger than the disadvantages.
To sum up
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, primary schools are a good beginning to learn a new accent. The benefit of
this
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 outweighs the disadvantage.
However
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, a good
academy
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academic
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 plan and a healthy environment are reasons for making
this
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 become true.

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structure
Make a clear intro that states your view, and end with a short conclusion that repeats it.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and give one example.
lexical
Fix grammar and spell simple words correctly. Choose 'language' instead of 'accent'.
style
Keep sentences short and simple. Avoid long chains.
coherence
Use linking words clearly, like 'first', 'also', 'but', and 'however'.
content
Shows effort to discuss both sides.
structure
Has an intro and a final conclusion.
coherence
Uses 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' to tie ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingualism
  • cognitive development
  • linguistic proficiency
  • language acquisition
  • cultural awareness
  • multiculturalism
  • early intervention
  • language immersion
  • primary education
  • secondary education
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