IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children. Others think parents needn’t do that as children can read books or watch TV, movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over how
children
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 should know about the
stories
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 , with some saying that the
parents
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 are responsible
to read
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for reading
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 or
tell
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telling
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 them, and others arguing that
children
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 should do it by themselves. In my opinion,
children
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 should read books or watch TV by themselves, as they will improve their reading or listening skills. On the one hand,
parents
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 ought to read
stories
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 to their
children
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. Because some
children
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 can not read by themselves,
parents
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 should read or tell the
stories
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.
For example
Linking Words
, before the
son
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child
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 goes to sleep , the mother should read the story to her
child
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.
As a result
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, the son will enhance his
creativity
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 even though he is too young. So if the
parents
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 read or tell
stories
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 to their
child
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, the
child
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's
creativity
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 will
enhance
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be enhanced
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.
On the other hand
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, the
children
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 are responsible for reading or watching a movie by themselves. When the
child
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 reads the book by themselves, their reading skill will develop.
As a result
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child
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 will be able to read from his young age.
On the other hand
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, if the
child
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 watches movies or TV by themselves, they can enhance their imagination and
creativity
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.
For example
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, if the daughter watches science fiction films, her
creativity
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 level will develop , and she will start thinking from the other point. So if several
child
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 will read or watch movies by themselves, they will develop their reading, listening, and
creativity
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 skills. In conclusion, every
child
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 ought to
take
Verb problem
gain
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 knowledge about the legend by themselves, as they will enhance more skills at the same time.

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language
Fix grammar and make each sentence clear and short.
coherence
Link ideas with smoother transitions so the text moves from one idea to the next.
structure
Have a clear start that states your view and a clear end that sums up.
content
You talk about both sides of the issue.
language
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bonding
  • cognitive development
  • multisensory learning
  • narratives
  • foster
  • empathy
  • vicarious experiences
  • storytelling
  • screen time
  • interpretation
  • media literacy
  • language acquisition
  • innate curiosity
  • scaffolding
  • imaginative play
  • literary appreciation
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