Some people think that it is better for people to work from home using the internet rather than commuting to an office. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often argued that working from
home
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using the
internet
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has both significant benefits and some potential drawbacks in our modern world. In my opinion, I completely believe that the various advantages of
this
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trend greatly outweigh the disadvantages, which I will discuss in
this
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essay to support my perspective with relevant examples. First of all, the main advantage I supporting
this
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idea is that working from
home
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using the
internet
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helps many
people
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to improve their lives and achieve their personal goals effectively.
This
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is because it provides many excellent opportunities for individuals to succeed and grow in our complex modern world.
For example
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, a recent study conducted by a famous and large university in Saudi Arabia showed that 85% of
people
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found working from
home
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using the
internet
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to be very helpful for their future careers.
Consequently
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,
this
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leads to many positive results for the whole society and helps everyone to develop and grow professionally.
Furthermore
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, another important point to consider is that working from
home
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using the
internet
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is a great way to save a lot of valuable time, money, and effort, especially for busy
people
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in today’s society.
This
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means that individuals do not need to spend a lot of energy or incur high costs to get what they want in their daily lives.
For instance
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, research from a global organisation illustrated that using
this
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specific method is much faster than traditional ways we used in the past.
As a result
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,
it is clear that
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this
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trend of working from
home
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using the
internet
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has many significant advantages for both students and professional workers alike. In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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might disagree and point to some drawbacks, I firmly believe that the advantages of working from
home
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using the
internet
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are more important and significant. It is predicted that
this
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will remain a significant issue in the future because of its great importance.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree with the statement, and I suggest that
people
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should focus more on
this
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area to achieve better results.

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grammar
Fix the grammar at 'the main advantage I supporting this idea' and other similar spots to make sentences clear.
coherence
Use a wider range of simple link words to help flow, such as 'also', 'because', 'as a result', and 'however'.
content
Give more clear and correct facts; avoid vague phrases like 'global organisation' and 'famous and large university'.
task response
Add one or two more ideas and a better balance by noting a small drawback too, then show how advantages still win.
overall
The writer takes a clear view and keeps focus on the topic.
cohesion
There is a direct link between the idea and the example.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present and the essay follows a pattern.
coherence
Reasoning is easy to follow and ideas are arranged in order.
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