IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Ordinary people copy famous people whom they see on TV and magazines. Do you think it is a positive development or negative development?

It is observed that the common
people
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 identify with the famous personalities whom they watch on TV and in the news. From my perspective, it is both a positive and a negative development. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the positive development,
then
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 the negative, and
lastly
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, I will conclude my topic.
To begin
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 with,
individual
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individuals
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 get motivated in their
lifestyle
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 by imitating influencers.
For instance
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, they can change their
lifestyle
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 and develop some good habits
such
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 as getting ready early morning and so on.
Moreover
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, one can get inspiration from others' lives.
People
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 get the chance to know how to become successful and face day-to-day
life
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 problems.
In addition
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 to
this
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, if
someone
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 sees another happy
life
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, they probably can implement those things in their own
life
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 and make a strong family relationship. On the flip side, copying others can result in a negative development
due to
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 the following reasons.
Firstly
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, following
otherspeople
Correct your spelling
other people
 can result in a family dispute.
For example
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, one cannot afford expenses in a family , and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
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 body wants to be treated the same as he/she saw in a video. Expecting something from
someone
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 can lead
some
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to some
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 misunderstandings.
Secondly
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, famous
people
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 have their luxury
lifestyle
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,
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;
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 common
people
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 cannot spend that much money , which results in stress, anxiety, and depression.
To conclude
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this
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 topic, I would say it's
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
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 choice to copy
someone
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. But it's important to know how much they can implement in their own
life
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 to prevent family misunderstandings. If
someone
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 can improve their
life
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 by looking at other
people
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 ,
then
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 it's good to copy
one's
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their
show examples
lifestyle
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.

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content
State your clear view in the opening paragraph and keep it clear through the essay.
content
Add more detail to main ideas: explain how copying can bring both good and bad results with specific, simple examples.
language
Improve grammar and sentence flow. Use simple, common words and short sentences.
coherence
Link ideas more smoothly by using transitions like 'also', 'for example', 'however'.
structure
End with a strong conclusion that restates your view.
content
The essay has a clear aim to discuss both sides.
structure
There is a clear introduction, body and conclusion.
content
Some good examples are given.
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