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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In recent years, many parents have increasingly allowed their
children
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 to spend substantial amounts of time using digital devices, believing that early exposure will make them more technologically competent.
While
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technology
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 undoubtedly plays an important role in modern society, I strongly believe that the disadvantages of excessive
technology
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 use among
children
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 far outweigh its advantages.
Children
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 are at a crucial developmental stage, during which they need to cultivate cognitive ability, creativity, and, most importantly, social interaction skills. When computers and tablets dominate their daily routines, the development of these essential capacities can be significantly hindered.
Instead
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 of engaging with their physical environment,
children
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 may become socially withdrawn, which can contribute to poor communication skills and heightened levels of anxiety.
Moreover
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, prolonged screen time is associated with a range of health problems, including obesity, poor posture, and visual impairment. Numerous psychological studies have indicated that
children
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 who spend excessive hours online are considerably more vulnerable to social anxiety and emotional difficulties. Admittedly, the internet can support learning by providing access to educational resources and by helping young people acquire valuable digital skills that may benefit their future academic and professional lives.
However
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, these advantages are overshadowed by serious risks. Many
children
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 develop addictive gaming habits that interfere with academic performance and reduce motivation to engage in real-world activities. Even more concerning is the issue of online safety
:
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;
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 unrestricted internet access exposes
children
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 to harmful content and increases the likelihood of contact with online predators. These dangers demonstrate that heavy reliance on
technology
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 during childhood can have profound and lasting negative consequences. In conclusion,
although
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technology
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 is an unavoidable feature of contemporary life, allowing
children
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 unrestricted or excessive access to digital devices is detrimental to their
overall
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 development. Parents and guardians must
therefore
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 impose clear limits and encourage a balanced lifestyle that prioritises physical activity, social interaction, and creative exploration.

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task response
Keep a clear view of the main idea in each part. State your view in the first line and stay with it to the end.
examples
Add a real life example from home, school, or news to show your point.
coherence
Use short and easy links to connect ideas. Words like and, but, also, then help a lot.
structure
Arrange ideas in a simple plan: first point, then a second, finally a small end.
conclusion
Check you end with a short last line that sums up your point.
strength
You show a clear view and hold to it well.
strength
The essay has a good plan and uses link words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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