IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available from fossil fuels in Freedo-nia from 1985 to 2005.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The line graph illustrates the
energy
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
 and fossil fuel
energy
Use synonyms
 available in Freedonia over the period from 1985 to 2005, with projected data for 2000 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
energy
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
 and fossil fuel availability showed opposite trends.
Energy
Use synonyms
 available rose
initially
Linking Words
 before declining,
while
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
 fell first and
then
Linking Words
 increased sharply, leading to a growing
energy
Use synonyms
 gap after about 2000. In detail, in 1985,
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 available was 3.8
units
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
demand
Use synonyms
 was higher at 5.2
units
Use synonyms
. During the decade after
1985
Add a comma
1985,
show examples
 the availability of
energy
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 grew steadily, overtaking the amount of
demand
Use synonyms
 in about 1986 and peaking at around 6.5
units
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
energy
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
 fell from 5.2
units
Use synonyms
 in 1985 to a low of 2
units
Use synonyms
 in 1990, and stayed at
this
Linking Words
 level until 1995. From 1995 onwards,
demand
Use synonyms
 rose continuously, surpassing fossil fuel availability around 2000 and reaching a projected 7
units
Use synonyms
 by 2005.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 available dropped significantly to just 2.5
units
Use synonyms
 by 2000,
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it remained stable until 2005.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, demand, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: