IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

In recent years, there has been a growing interest in the strength of life.
However
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, some individuals contend that there are several issues when they live in a huge place. In my view, I firmly believe that
cities
Use synonyms
 should be prioritised as essential sectors, like education and companies. These sectors have a more immediate and meaningful impact on citizens' well-being.
To begin
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 with, there is no doubt that large towns play a crucial role in people's
health
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. To illustrate, several studies indicated that if families live in a large area, they will maintain their mental
health
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.
Moreover
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, a study conducted at the University of Nizwa found that approximately 45% of individuals have public
health
Use synonyms
 issues
due to
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 athletic centres.
Thus
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,
this
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 practice contributes significantly to the diet. Another reason is that there are several facilities which assist in developing the strength. That means the
cities
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 have numerous administrations
such
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 as hospitals, clinics,centre gyms,and colleges.
According to
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 colleges, students would improve their skills by completing their education.
In contrast
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, the members who work in high companies could have insurance for treatment in private clinics.
For instance
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, in Germany, people who live in the capital city have successfully increased their mental and physical
health
Use synonyms
 by more than 60%. In conclusion, the strength plays a crucial role in modern
cities
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, but people should create some attitudes in maintaining their bodies.
That is
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 why the government make some measurements to keep safety and encourage their residents. From my perspective, huge
cities
Use synonyms
 can build a brighter and more sustainable future.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and in every paragraph show how it supports your view.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea and use a clear link to the next idea.
examples
Use one or two strong and real examples that support your point.
language
Use simple, short sentences and check grammar.
language
Check spellings and word choice; use consistent spelling for city and country names.
length
Keep the length around 250-300 words to meet the task need.
structure
There is a plan with introduction, body and conclusion.
evidence
The writer tries to use facts or numbers to back points.
content
The topic is related to health in cities.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • respiratory issues
  • pollution
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • noise pollution
  • health facilities
  • mental health
  • physical activities
  • nature contact
  • health problems
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