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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people's skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The global market for
skin
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-lightening
products
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 has witnessed substantial growth, reflecting a complex interplay of cultural, social, and psychological factors.
Individuals
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 often employ these
products
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 with the aim of achieving a perceived ideal of
beauty
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, influenced by historical and contemporary societal biases.
However
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, the consequences of
this
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 practice extend beyond superficial aesthetics, impacting both individual health and societal dynamics.   One primary reason for the widespread use of
skin
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-lightening
products
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 is the persistent association of lighter
skin
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 with higher social status and attractiveness.
This
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 phenomenon is deeply rooted in historical contexts, particularly in post-colonial societies where lighter
skin
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 was often linked to the ruling elite. In contemporary media and advertising,
this
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 association is frequently reinforced, perpetuating the notion that lighter
skin
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 equates to
beauty
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 and success.
For example
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, in many Asian and African countries, advertisements for
beauty
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products
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 consistently feature models with fair complexions, implicitly suggesting that
this
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 is the desirable standard.
This
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 pervasive influence creates a strong incentive for
individuals
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 to alter their natural
skin
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 tone.  
However
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, the pursuit of
this
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 ideal comes with significant health risks. Many
skin
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-lightening
products
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 contain potent chemicals,
such
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 as hydroquinone and corticosteroids, which can cause severe side effects. Prolonged use can lead to
skin
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 thinning, increased susceptibility to infections, and even
skin
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 cancer.
Furthermore
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, the psychological impact of relying on
such
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products
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 can be profound, fostering a sense of insecurity and dissatisfaction with one's natural appearance. From personal observation, I have witnessed
individuals
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 developing severe
skin
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 conditions
due to
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long term
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long-term
show examples
 usage of these
products
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, and their subsequent social anxiety.   Societally, the widespread use of
skin
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-lightening
products
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 reinforces harmful stereotypes and contributes to discrimination. It perpetuates a hierarchy where
individuals
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 with darker
skin
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 are marginalized, leading to feelings of inferiority and social exclusion.
This
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 can exacerbate existing inequalities and create a culture of self-hatred within certain communities.
For instance
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, in some cultures, job applications may be subtly influenced by the perceived attractiveness associated with lighter
skin
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, creating an unfair advantage.   In conclusion,
while
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 the reasons for using
skin
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-lightening
products
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 are rooted in complex social and psychological factors, the health and societal consequences are undeniably detrimental. It is imperative to challenge the prevailing
beauty
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 standards and promote a more inclusive and diverse understanding of attractiveness. Educational campaigns and regulatory measures are crucial in raising awareness about the risks associated with these
products
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 and fostering a society that values natural
beauty
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 and respects diversity.

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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by outlining reasons for the use of skin-lightening products and discussing their health and societal effects. Ensure that each point is thoroughly explored and supported with examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The coherence and cohesion in your essay are strong. Paragraphs flow logically, and each section connects well with the overall argument. Consider using a few more linking phrases to enhance the transitions between points.
Positive Highlight
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and sets the stage for the discussion to follow.
Positive Highlight
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and highlights the need for change, creating a strong closing message.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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