IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write the following graph to indicate the sales

The graph gives the information about Dubai
gold
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2002 and is measured in millions of Dirhams.
Overall
Linking Words
, despite the fluctuations, the
sales
Use synonyms
 have a stable
rate
Use synonyms
 from January to December. The production of
gold
Use synonyms
 in January stands at 200, following the slight increase in the next month at 220.
Due to
Linking Words
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
 season, people tend to buy
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 for their family as a gift,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 reach a peak
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 350 in March.
However
Linking Words
, over the following months, it takes the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 by 120 in July, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the price of
gold
Use synonyms
 is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest
rate
Use synonyms
. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the price, August experiences a sudden rise
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 200,
while
Linking Words
 September overcome a downfall
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 120. September grows a little bit at 190,
while
Linking Words
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 in October remain stable until the next month. In December, the
gold
Use synonyms
 is sold at 200, with the same
rate
Use synonyms
 as the first period of 2002.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gold, sales, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sales
  • strong
  • economy
  • spend
  • goods
  • services
  • successful
  • marketing
  • strategies
  • customers
  • profits
  • seasonal
  • changes
  • holidays
  • events
  • quality
  • product
  • crucial
  • role
  • achieving
  • reviews
  • word-of-mouth
  • buyers
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