IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your

A growing concern in some communities today is the allocation of tax
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 by the
government
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 to certain areas of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Some believe that
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 should be a top priority,
whereas
Linking Words
 others think there are more important aspects that require
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 funding. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will elucidate both views and give my opinion. On the one hand,
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is paramount for the growth of an economy
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
Fix capitalization
therefore
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Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 it should be a top priority for the
government
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's allocation of tax funds. Research studies by the
world
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World Health
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health
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organization
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Organisation
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 on developing
countries
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 concluded that about 75% of
countries
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 that
prioritize
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prioritise
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health
Use synonyms
care
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 are the top
countries
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 with vast development in both infrastructure and the economic sector.
Hence
Linking Words
, it identifies the vitality of
health
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, which
also
Linking Words
 reflects on the productivity of their citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some developing
countries
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, there may be other pressing matters that might hinder the people
to prioritize
Change preposition
from prioritising
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Use synonyms
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
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 funding on healthcare. As an illustration, in
countries
Use synonyms
 facing intense security flaws, their main aim would be to allocate
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 public funds into the armed forces to restore safety to the nation. In
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I am of the opinion that the
government
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 should
categorize
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categorise
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health
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care
Use synonyms
 as
Correct article usage
a neccessity
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neccessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 before any pressing matter because without proper
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
care
Add a comma
care,
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 it increases the mortality rate of a country.

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task response
For task response, state your main view clearly and add reasoning for each view with a strong opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use more linking words to show how ideas fit and move from one idea to the next.
structure
Fix structure: keep introduction, two body parts for each view, and a short conclusion. Each paragraph should center on one main idea.
language accuracy
Check grammar and spellings: fix capital letters after full stops, and correct common slips (like 'conclussion' and 'neccessity'). Prefer short, clear sentences.
content
Add real examples or data to back up claims, not only general statements.
content
The essay shows two sides and ends with a personal view.
coherence
It uses a 'two sides' structure with clear signposts such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
conclusion
Conclusion states the writer's own view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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