IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about Dubai gold sales in 2002.

The line graph indicates the sales of gold in Dubai over the
period
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of gold consumption varied from 120 to 350,
while
Linking Words
th
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the number at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 was coincidentally
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. Clearly, it came to a peak at 350
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Dirhams
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 March;
however
Linking Words
, it plummeted rapidly later, leading to a massive drop
roughly
Change preposition
of roughly
show examples
 250
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 from March to July.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a slight upward trend during the
period
Use synonyms
 of January to February, and
then
Linking Words
 it started to climb in numbers from roughly 225 to 350, which was a huge rocket. Over the second half of the
period
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, it first increased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
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 80
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 August, decreasing
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 almost the same amount the next month. It is noticeable that the
number
Check wording
amount
show examples
 of gold that Dubai sold remained relatively stable at the level about 180 million
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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