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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

The line graph below illustrates the numerical figures of
books
Use synonyms
 read by both
men
Use synonyms
 and women in a Public library
at
Change preposition
in
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 Burnaby between the year 2011 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
men
Use synonyms
 have the highest number of
books
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 read,
whereas
Linking Words
 the women have the
least
Correct word choice
fewest
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 read within the years. Progressively, the pattern of the
books
Use synonyms
 read by
men
Use synonyms
 ascends spontaneously through the chart. They kicked off at slightly above 2,000
books
Use synonyms
 in the first year to increase gradually to 4,000
books
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 in 2012 before a rapid growth in 2013 to end at 14,000
books
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 in the final year. In sharp contrast to the
men
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, the women began at roughly 5,000 in 2011 with a constant rise through the years.
However
Linking Words
, in
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
 they reached a peak
at
Change preposition
of
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 10,000
books
Use synonyms
 before a decline to about 7,000
books
Use synonyms
 in 2014.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, men with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • library
  • gender
  • reading habits
  • compare
  • significantly
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • consistent
  • fluctuate
  • period
  • summarise
  • graph
  • public library
  • books read
  • Burnaby Public Library
  • 2011 to 2014
  • male
  • female
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