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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the 20th century, contact between many parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunication. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent decades, the connection between
countries
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 has evolved rapidly
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different ways. The essay
to
Verb problem
aims to
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 ensure that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 development are noticeable and
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 benefit from it. On the one hand, planes connect different
countries
Use synonyms
 with each other and so make it easier for
people
Use synonyms
 to travel and visit
countries
Use synonyms
 around the
world
Use synonyms
. In the past,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 might have taken a month or even years
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 for now it may take only
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hours to reach the destination.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the economical
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economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 status of some
countries
Use synonyms
 has improved through tourism.
For example
Linking Words
,
Thailand
Check wording
Thailand's
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 economic status improved recently
by
Change preposition
due to
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people
Use synonyms
 visiting from around the
world
Use synonyms
 by
planes
Fix the agreement mistake
plane
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. The other benefit is when
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
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 have
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
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 emergency and
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 to be transferred to a different country, he or she will arrive in
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 period using
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, communication has developed in recent years. There are a lot of advantages
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 connecting
people
Use synonyms
 from different areas or in different
countries
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 a massage could take a long period to be delivered
for
Change preposition
to
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 its
destination
Punctuation problem
destination,
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 it may take days, weeks or even months in some cases.
However
Linking Words
, telecommunication makes it so
easier
Correct word choice
easy
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 these days,
people
Use synonyms
 need only a wifi and a phone to send a message and to make a
call
Punctuation problem
call,
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people
Use synonyms
 need only a covered place by their
cellphones
Use the right word
cell phone
show examples
 company to call their family, friends or work. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 travelling and telecommunication are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. It made life easier for
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 around the
world
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan a clear view in the intro and keep one main idea in each paragraph.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words so the flow is easy to follow.
content
Add facts or clear examples to show your point and make it strong.
grammar
Check grammar and make sentences easy, with proper tense and articles.
conclusion
End with a short, clear restate of your view.
content
The essay shows a real idea about travel and new tech.
structure
There is an intro and a final end.
content
Examples are used to show some points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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