IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
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 essay, the educational system and its effect in the country will be discussed , and how far
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 agree or disagree . In the beginning, the
eduction
Use the right word
education
show examples
 in general was not that
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 before 50 years ago .
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
show examples
 at that time had the chance of having a good job
aith
Correct your spelling
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 income without learning, because
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 in the past
was depending
Wrong verb form
depended
show examples
 on the skills
not
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, not
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 the knowledge they
have
Wrong verb form
had
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, or what degree
the
Use the right word
they
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 own .Even the doctors had no degrees , and they depend on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 skills and the practice .
However
Linking Words
, with the time and the years
the
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, the
show examples
 education and the information
also
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 start to learn and encourage the families to
sign
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send
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids to
schools
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school
show examples
.Year after year
the
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, the
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 number of schools and
university
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universities
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 and communities start to realise how
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 to study .Because now jobs and
oppertunities
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opportunities
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 to the
people
Use synonyms
 who have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 degree, and the higher the level of knowledge
the
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, the
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 higher the payment .So all over the world start to learn to be more
organized
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organised
show examples
 and increase
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 income
and
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, and
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 improve
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 health care systems ,
also
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rise
Verb problem
raising
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 the quality of life in general. In my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, the level of education of a community tells me a lot about how the country and the government care
to
Change preposition
for
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 their population, so the higher the level of knowledge and
taeching thier
Correct your spelling
teaching their
people
Use synonyms
 gets
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 higher the quality of life.
good
Correct article usage
A good
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 caring government offer
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 educational system so they can learn and
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 a job with good payment .
and
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And
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 there was a study
proofs
Check wording
that proved
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 that free education will get the community to learn and that will prevent poverty and mental disease .
At the end
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 , again yes
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 do agree with that
an
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and
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dthe
Correct your spelling
the
 benefit of it is more than the harm
f
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it .

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planning
Make a clear main idea in a short line at the start and keep the same idea in each paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, and then for good flow.
evidence
Give one or two real and simple examples to back up your points.
language
Check main words for spelling so the read is smooth.
conclusion
End with a short restate line to show your view again.
task position
Your view on the topic is clear.
idea development
You show some reason why education matters.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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