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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people are off the opinion that giving a good first impression at an interviewer is the key securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Workplace competency has become a viral topic among fresh graduates. Some people believe that giving a good first impression
at
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to
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 an interviewer is the key to securing a good job.
While
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 I disagree with the notion, it's important to analyse two opposing opinions to understand the logic behind the
distictive
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distinctive
 sides. With plenty of online courses about answering interview questions that appear on social media, it is
nonetheless
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 a crucial preparation in the initial hiring procedure. What a hiring manager keen to see in a candidate is a combination of highly competent traits,
such
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 as strong initiative, optimism, self-sufficiency, social skills and confidence.
Thus
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, the aura of an individual during the first meeting will give a signal of whether
this
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 person has the relevant experience and attitudes to handle the job scope.
Hence
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, it is undoubtedly that having a well-prepared presentation and speech for the selection process can help with reinforcing your strengths among other potential applicants.
However
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, what a company would emphasise is still the individual's actual contributions and support during their employment.
Therefore
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, the examination of the probation period will filter out the unlucky ones who think of the job requirements superficially.
For instance
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, many who spoke highly of their proficiencies in multiple software and scenarios, happen to encounter obstacles in resolving real-time issues regardless of their glamorous presentation at the interview. In short, the ultimate goal to secure your occupation is to have practical industrial knowledge and the willingness to learn
instead
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 of just putting effort into making a good impression. In a nutshell,
while
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 acknowledging the advantages of impressing people, I believe acquiring real skills and solid experience will lead one to longer prosperity and a successful career compared to taking the application too casually.

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content
Make your view clear in the first line and keep it. Some parts try to show both sides, move to one main idea and grow it with two strong ideas.
example
Use more real life or simple examples to show your point, but keep the words easy and short.
structure
Link the ideas with smoother transitions. Shorten long sentences and avoid big pauses in thought.
strength
Clear position and good flow between ideas
strength
Good use of linking words such as However and Thus
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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