IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that the museums and historic sites should be open for free for children under 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries, the
museums
Use synonyms
 and historic sites are a pride and heritage of that place, so many people believe that making them free for kids below 18 is beneficial.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it will increase access to education outside the classroom and help them learn about the importance of cultural preservation. First of all,
begin
Verb problem
it is
show examples
 said that children are the future of our society, so they should be fostered to learn about the history of their country and the important recorded events of the world.
For example
Linking Words
, the schools in Thailand engage pupils to
visit
Use synonyms
 the museum every year in their hometown.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when they have free entry to
museums
Use synonyms
, it encourages them to
visit
Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
 often to understand the subject taught in the classroom.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 financial issues, some families would not be able to pay for the
visit
Use synonyms
 to these
palces
Correct your spelling
places
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is really unfair for the kids from low-income families.
Also
Linking Words
, minors will learn how important it is to preserve our nation's heritage at a young age. In conclusion, I agree with the idea of providing a no-fee ticket to
visit
Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
 for offspring under 18 years old. Not only to let them be proud of their nation's fundamentals
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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also
Linking Words
contribute
Verb problem
to contribute
show examples
 to the efficient upbringing of offspring.

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planning
Keep a clear plan. Start with your view, give two main reasons, then end with a short summary.
content
Add more facts or examples to show impact.
coherence
Use better linking words to join ideas.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar errors such as 'places','pupils','offspring'.
task response
Include a small counter point and then explain why you still agree.
content
Clear view and fit with the task.
structure
Three part structure: intro, body, conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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