Do you agree or disagree that improvements in technology reduce the role of Olympic Games.

It is increasingly observed that advancement in
technology
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is reducing the role of
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the olympic
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olympic
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Olympic Games
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games
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. I
am
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apply
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partially agree
to
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with
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this
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statement.
This
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essay will discuss
agree
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the agreed-upon
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points,
then
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disagreement points, and
finally
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, conclude
this
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topic in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, the massive use of
technology
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is reducing the interest of
people
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towards
games
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. It is seen that
,
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apply
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people
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prefer to stay at home, playing
games
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on
Internet
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the Internet
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, watching TV, and so on. By getting addicted to
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technology
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technology,
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it
distract
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distracted
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them
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apply
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from sports.
For example
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, in the Apple newspaper mentioned only 20% of
sold
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the sold
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seats in
last
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year for
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year's
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FIFA
world cup
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World Cup
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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are physically less active
due to
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which,
they
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them
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having more health issues. On the flip side, some
people
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believed that
technology
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does not affect their interest towards
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the olympic
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olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic Games
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games
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. Some
people
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loved
games
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from their core of
Correct pronoun usage
their heart
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heart
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hearts
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. They are using
technology
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and
also
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playing
games
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. It is believed that many
people
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research on
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
to get techniques which can be used in
games
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and
achieved
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achieve
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the
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apply
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good
result
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results
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.
Furthermore
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,
technology
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can benefit them in various ways, like they can learn more rules,
give
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giving them
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chance
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a chance
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to post their videos online, and much more. By doing
this
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,
people
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can motivate themselves and get the opportunity to become famous personalities.
To conclude
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, improvements in
technology
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brings
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bring
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both benefits and drawbacks
in
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to
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Correct article usage
the olympic
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olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic Games
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games
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. If
technology
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used
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is used
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in a good
way
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way,
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then
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it can benefit each and every individual. More
people
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use the
technology
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in
a
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the
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wrong way
which
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, which
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pulls their interest away from
games
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.

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planning
Plan your essay. Start with a clear view in the intro and keep it in all parts.
grammar
Use simple, correct sentences. Watch form like 'they have' not 'they having'.
development
Give one clear idea in each paragraph and add one detail or example to back it up.
evidence
Be careful with facts. Use small, true or hypothetical examples instead of unclear data.
lexical
Use a mix of words to talk about tech and games. Do not use the same word many times.
structure
The essay shows a clear plan to discuss both sides.
cohesion
There are linking words to show contrast and order.
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