IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today many do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

In recent years,
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
 ties have significantly declined in urban areas. More and more
people
Use synonyms
 are not attaching utmost importance to relationships with their
neighbours
Use synonyms
. I will elaborate on the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 issue and suggest some solutions to
adress
Correct your spelling
address
 it in the following essay.  There is an undeniable fact that individualism has become
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
 trend among
people
Use synonyms
 for a few years. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that many traditions and customs
lost
Verb problem
have lost
show examples
 their values,
such
Linking Words
 as spending time with
neighbours
Use synonyms
 or giving a hand
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them,
Linking Words
this situation
Check wording
which
show examples
 creates independent
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 can have hectic business
lives
Use synonyms
, and they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
save time for spending with their loved ones, which gives rise to damage their
neighnorhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
.
This
Linking Words
 is because we cannot deny that all relationships, specifically
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
, need
to effort
Correct word order
effort to
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
become stronger and
priceles
Correct your spelling
priceless
. To address these challenges, I opine that individuals should take responsibility. To be more specific, they should consider
place
Replace the word
placing
show examples
 paramount importance on customs and traditions.
This
Linking Words
 is because they play a central role in shaping
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and offer
people
Use synonyms
 to have happier
lives
Use synonyms
. Thanks to these values,
such
Linking Words
 as sharing meals and helping
shopping
Change preposition
with shopping
show examples
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 name
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a few.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to
stregthen
Correct your spelling
strengthening
 their communications with each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these situations may pave the way for next generations to have strong
reletionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 with
neighbours
Use synonyms
. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
, professional and personal
lives
Use synonyms
 should be separated, and individuals should allocate more time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 spending on their
neighbours
Use synonyms
 to improve ties. In conclusion, decreasing
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
 is a vital problem nowadays, which stems from both
loosing
Use the right word
losing
show examples
 many traditions and having
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
show examples
 worklife.
However
Linking Words
, from my standpoint, if
people
Use synonyms
 realise the benefit of cultural relationships and
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
 for their
lives
Use synonyms
, they can take steps to address it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content/create-plan
Your essay partly answers the two questions. It needs a clear plan and a strong view in the intro and restated in the conclusion. Break the work into clear parts: causes, effects, and ways to fix. Each idea should be shown with a short example.
structure
The order of ideas is not always clear. Use linking words to show order: First, Also, Then, Finally. Start each paragraph with a clear idea.
vocabulary
Spell words right and use simple word choice. Wrong spelling or wrong word form can blur the meaning. Check 'neighbourhood', 'address', 'relationship', 'separate'.
grammar
Use shorter sentences and check grammar. Try to keep one idea in each sentence and fix mistakes with subject-verb and punctuation.
content
The essay does try to talk about both causes and fixes.
structure
There is a plan to talk about changes in city life.
content
Some ideas about how neighbours can be closer are clear.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: