IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The only reason why people work hard is to earn more money. There are no other reasons to do it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 claim that the only
reason
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 for working hard is to earn more
money
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.
Although
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 I agree that earning more
money
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 plays an important role in enhancing
people
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’s living
quality
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, I don’t think it is the only
reason
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, as other things
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such
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, such
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 as obtaining a sense of achievement and undertaking social
responsibility
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responsibility,
show examples
 are
also
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 essential. On the one hand, earning more
money
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 can significantly
ensure
Verb problem
improve
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people
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’s living
quality
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. As we are in a society where the development of the economy is unstable, many
people
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 are under the pressure of economics. Earning more
money
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 through hard
working
Replace the word
work
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 provides individuals
a
Change preposition
with a
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stable material assurance
which
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, which
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 can alleviate
people
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’s economic burden and improve
living
Correct pronoun usage
their living
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quality
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 in the end.
As a result
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, with a high living
quality
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,
people
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 can pay more attention to self-development, which enhances comprehensive abilities and
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
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 on working, driving
people
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 into a virtuous circle.
However
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, working hard only for
money
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 can just keep motivation in the short term.
On the other hand
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, working hard only for
money
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 may be effective in enhancing living
quality
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, but it cannot be seen as a lasting motivation. Other aims
like
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, like
show examples
 achievements and
responsibility
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responsibility,
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 are
also
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 vital. It is exceedingly possible for someone to stop working hard once they
obtained
Verb problem
have obtained
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 enough
money
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 and
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 a high-
quality
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life
Punctuation problem
life,
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 as they take earning
money
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 for the sole
reason
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.
However
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,
people
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 will maintain their positive attitude to
work
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 though they have earned enough
money
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, if they can feel a sense of achievement or take some social responsibilities through their
work
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.
According to
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 an investigation conducted in Shanghai, the
people
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 who
work
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 for multiple purposes
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, excepting
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excepting
Replace the word
except
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 earning
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money
Punctuation problem
money,
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 tend to have a longer career. That’s
because
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because,
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as well as
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 providing them with material support, working can benefit
people
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 mentally through enriching their lives and offering a sense of fulfilment.
Consequently
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, these feelings can make us
be
Verb problem
apply
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willing to do more
work
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 and be more satisfied with the
work
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 itself, compared with just working for
money
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. In conclusion, though working for
money
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 is necessary for improving living
quality
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, it cannot be seen as the only
reason
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, because it may limit our working willingness once we obtain enough
money
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. Other reasons
like
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, like
show examples
fulfilment
Punctuation problem
fulfilment,
show examples
 are
also
Linking Words
 significant factors that inspire individuals to stay committed to
work
Use synonyms

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task
Make your view clear at the start and end. Say money is not the only reason and keep to this aim.
examples
Use brief, clear examples and show how they back your view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words and move smoothly from one idea to the next.
language
Use short sentences and check your grammar so the meaning is easy to follow.
strength
Clear idea that money is not the only reason.
structure
Good shape: intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Gives a view and talks on both sides.
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