IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, many people around the globe adapt the Korean culture too much. What problem is associated with this? What can be done about this?

There is no denying the fact that there are some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of individuals
become
Correct pronoun usage
who become
show examples
 adaptable
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
Korean
Use synonyms
 culture.
This
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 essay will discuss the possible problems and the solutions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will express my own perspective as well. To
bigen
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, there are too many problems they
going
Verb problem
are going
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 to face, which may bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive damage to their own culture.
Firstly
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, they are
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving their
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 country
graduadlly
Correct your spelling
gradually
through
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over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time, and that
one
Verb problem
is one
show examples
 of the causes to leave
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 country and go to live in Korea to live a fake dream.
In addition
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,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time Koreans cannot accept them, since they are not
a
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apply
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Korean
Use synonyms
 citizens
at
Change preposition
in
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 the first place.
In other words
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, every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 across the world
donot
Verb problem
does not
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 like these because of their behaviour when they live in Korea.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
Use the right word
Korea
show examples
Korean
Punctuation problem
Korean,
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 multiple streamers who
filming in
Wrong verb form
filmed
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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live
stream
Fix the agreement mistake
streams
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 have been in
Use synonyms
Korean
Use the right word
Korea
show examples
 and their conduct was awful, so the government in
Korean
Use synonyms
added
Check wording
government added
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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serious
standers
Use the right word
standards
show examples
 to
svae
Correct your spelling
save
 the citizens. In terms of the solutions, the most effective one
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes individuals
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accept the truth
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
love
Verb problem
to love
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 your country and love your community as well.
Moreover
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, teaching kids that they have to
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 proud of
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
 and
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 families. It is possible to say that
gvoernment
Correct your spelling
governments
 have to
provides
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 some
prgrams
Correct your spelling
programs
 and activities to help them on
this
Linking Words
purposs
Correct your spelling
purpose
. In instance,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 government of Saudi Arabia
porvides
Correct your spelling
provides
a
Correct article usage
apply
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several courses to the
cosiety
Correct your spelling
society
 to keep stable for a long time. In conclusion, there are many problems
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
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 situation and
also
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 a lot of solutions
,
Punctuation problem
.
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in
Change preposition
From
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 my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 I would say some
progrmas willnot
Correct your spelling
programs will not
 do the whole work
they
Punctuation problem
; they
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 need a move from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to address that
, people
Punctuation problem
. People
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 are the problem.

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structure
Use clear topic sentences to present each main idea in every paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling errors to improve readability (e.g., agreement, verb forms, article use).
content
Keep to the task: give direct links to how over-accepting other cultures affects identity, and provide tighter, more relevant examples.
structure
The essay attempts to state a position and provide a conclusion.
content
There are some examples and mention of problems and solutions.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Homogenization
  • Assimilation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Appreciation
  • Respect
  • Preservation
  • Balance
  • Embrace
  • Integration
  • Promote
  • Educate
  • Authentic
  • Commercialization
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: