IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think that libraries are essential for society. Others, however, disagree and say that it is more practical to access information on computers, while libraries are a waste of money and resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Earlier,
libraries
Use synonyms
 used to be a very important place for all age groups. One could find all sorts of
books
Use synonyms
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 comics to competitive exams. But with the advancement in technology, many people believe
librariers
Correct your spelling
librarians
 are a waste of money and resources. The
society
Use synonyms
 is divided
whether
Change preposition
over whether
show examples
libraries
Use synonyms
 are essential or not.
Once
Punctuation problem
Once,
show examples
libraries
Use synonyms
 were a vital part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, we could find them in each block of the city. Even today, they give an opportunity to those who don't have enough resources.
For example
Linking Words
, someone living in a noisy household can go to library to study.
Also
Linking Words
, those who are unable to afford computers or purchase
books
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can access information from
libraries
Use synonyms
. When I was preparing for IELTS, I realized, if I purchase
books
Use synonyms
, it is very costly and would be of no use post exams.
Thus
Linking Words
, I borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 from
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 and studied there with concentration in peace.
Thus
Linking Words
,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are essential for
society
Use synonyms
 and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 opportunity to everyone without imposing financial constraints. They are an example
when
Change preposition
of when
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 we say someone needs intent to study, not finances.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many believe that
libraries
Use synonyms
 are a
waste
Punctuation problem
waste,
show examples
 as it is more practical to access information on computers. Nowadays, almost everyone has internet
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has significantly reduced the usage of
libraries
Use synonyms
. To better address
this
Linking Words
 issue,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 needs to rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 existence. A better plan needs to be discussed that could shut down a few of these institutes and create a balance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, permanently closing
libraries
Use synonyms
 might
good
Rephrase
apply
show examples
be advisable
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 rethinking
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where to have them could be a great solution for everyone.

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structure
Fix the intro and end. Say your view clearly in one sentence at the end.
structure
Make the main ideas clear in their own parts. Start each paragraph with a clear point.
content
Add more facts or examples for each idea, not just one personal story.
language
Use more link words to show how ideas are linked.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling, like 'libraries' (not 'librariers') and 'its/it's'.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides and shows a personal link.
content
Some clear idea of why libraries can help people with no funds.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • quiet space
  • study and research
  • community learning and engagement
  • physical books
  • rare manuscripts
  • digital resources
  • internet access
  • free access
  • community events
  • workshops
  • educational programs
  • hubs of societal engagement
  • digital information
  • accessible
  • convenient
  • physical space
  • resources
  • maintenance
  • costs
  • redirected
  • digital infrastructure
  • e-books
  • online journals
  • diminishing
What to do next:
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