IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

we cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with oue own communities and countries. agree or disagree?

There is a widespread belief that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 should be responsible for their own groups and nation to give some help rather than outside their communities. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because limitations of humans and
also
Linking Words
 regulatory
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
 to every state. The ability of human is lack of time and energy to help everyone outside their habitat. To reach a wider community that needs help needs a proper budget, transportation, accommodation and special access.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we have sincere intentions to help the Palestinian crowd, we have to travel and buy some food with our money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if we lived in developing
countries
Use synonyms
, the society
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 really
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 help
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
who
Fix the agreement mistake
which
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 struggled to live. The second view of
this
Linking Words
 statement is that there are several nations that have strict regulations, even for receiving help from another group or organisation.
This
Linking Words
 is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 political stance
Change preposition
than over
show examples
over
Use the right word
one
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 that belongs to the government or president over humanitarian, because there is a potential argument from another country that claims the
countries
Use synonyms
 that received the food, drink and accommodation are the poor
countries
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when Indonesia was hit by a tsunami disaster in 2026, Mr Prabowo Subianto president of Indonesia, rejected several aid from the US, China and the UK.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the barriers from human abilities and state regulation are the main issues for helping bodies outside their groups
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or communities. The recommendation from these views
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
establish
Verb problem
to establish
show examples
own
Correct article usage
an own
show examples
 state first with
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
 from many
stakeholder
Fix the agreement mistake
stakeholders
show examples
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
internal
Correct article usage
the internal
show examples
 community
until
Punctuation problem
, until
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
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to cover
Verb problem
covers
show examples
 all primary needs for poor people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to influence
high
Correct word choice
high-level
show examples
level
Check wording
officials
show examples
 to accept
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 from
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.

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content
Be clear on your view in one line at the start and restate it in the end.
content
Give strong reasons and simple, real examples that fit the prompt.
structure
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one idea to the next and to the next paragraph.
content
The essay shows a clear view that is easy to see.
structure
There are paragraphs that separate ideas.
content
Some examples are used to back up ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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