IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a number of
countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 like used clothes because of the
brand
Use synonyms
. In recent years, it
becoming
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 popular
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, specifically
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation. The generation giving priority to
brand
Use synonyms
 because they think it
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 their status. I think it is a positive development
due to
Linking Words
 it
inspire
Correct subject-verb agreement
inspires
show examples
 them to become rich. There are a number of reasons why
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 like
used
Verb problem
to use
show examples
cloth
Use synonyms
. One probable reason is that they like to wear
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular
brand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they cannot afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. To elaborate it more, a middle-class family boy cannot buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular
brand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
 because of their financial position. When they meet their friend or go to any party, they want to act like a high-profile person. Present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 judge
anyone
Check wording
others
show examples
 by their
Use synonyms
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is attract
Wrong verb form
attracts
show examples
 everyone.
As a result
Linking Words
, they have to buy a
brand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of cloth
show examples
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
 from
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
second hand
Use the right word
second-hand
show examples
 market because they cannot afford a new one. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, buying used
Use synonyms
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
becoming
Verb problem
is becoming
show examples
 more and more popular
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
youngers
Use the right word
young
show examples
.
Check wording
people.
show examples
Similarly
Linking Words
,
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 popularity of used
Use synonyms
cloth
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
 is a positive development because it
inspired
Wrong verb form
inspires
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 rich. In the modern
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 everyone
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
lead
Verb problem
to lead
show examples
 a better life and show status. The
Use synonyms
brand
Check wording
brand's
show examples
cloths
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
 are quality
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
, attracting
Use synonyms
people more
Correct word order
more people
show examples
,
provides
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
a standard
show examples
 status to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 they try to manage money or make money for that, which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
inspire
Replace the word
the inspiration
show examples
 to become rich.
For example
Linking Words
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 feel
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 little bit of richness
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
cloth
Use synonyms
, they
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
 to become rich. Sometimes
people
Use synonyms
 can understand the level
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the used product. In conclusion, I
retired
Verb problem
realised
show examples
 that using
second hand
Use the right word
second-hand
show examples
cloth
Use synonyms
 is beneficial from my perspective
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can help
people
Use synonyms
 to become high-profile
people
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make a plan. Intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short ending. Each paragraph has one main idea and a link to the next.
language
Fix grammar. Use short, clear sentences. Check verbs and plural forms.
content
Show both view points or say clearly if you think this is good or bad, and why. The task asks for your view and reasons.
idea
Some ideas come from life and show you know the topic.
example
You try to give reasons and use examples to back up your points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cost-effective
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable alternatives
  • fast fashion
  • vintage
  • mainstream fashion
  • individuality
  • social media influencers
  • celebrities
  • promoting sustainability
What to do next:
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