IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The protection of environment is most important issue in the world today, but governments are not doing enough about it. To what extent do you think individuals can help to protect the environment?

At
Change preposition
Against
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 the backdrop of other serious problems the world faces today, namely, wars, gender equality, and technology advancement, environmental preservation comes in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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line as very important as well.
While
Linking Words
authorities
Check wording
authorities'
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effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
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 to conserve it
seen
Verb problem
are seen
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 as not sufficient,
people
Use synonyms
 can play a bigger role than anyone could
not
Rephrase
apply
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ever imagine.
Thus
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, I fully consent that a proper disposal of trash and public awareness initiatives can make a valuable contribution.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many are blissfully unaware of how ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 can do better for the environment. It is bloggers who can enlighten
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 on how
can they
Correct word order
they can
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 consume less electricity, water, and gas for less
contiminated
Correct your spelling
contaminated
 air and soil.
Besides
Linking Words
 those who do not use
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, the power of local community meetings can shed
a
Correct article usage
apply
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light on relevant environmental problems in their cities,
thus
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 having less garbage on the streets. On top of that,
people
Use synonyms
 themselves are able to clean
for
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apply
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their
disposals
Check wording
rubbish
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 by sorting rubbish. By
such
Linking Words
 small steps, cleaner streets may expand into districts and so on.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 vivid
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
 of it is South Korea, where sorting of rubbish is enshrined in
constitution
Correct article usage
the constitution
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.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, there is a big fine for those who break the law.
Moreover
Linking Words
, environmental activists push legal reforms via protesting on the streets, pushing
government
Correct article usage
the government
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to
Change preposition
into
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 action. In Europe,
people
Use synonyms
go
Rephrase
often go
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 striking oftentimes to make sure higher-ups are aware and
undertake
Verb problem
take
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 measures to
pollutants
Check wording
reduce pollution
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.
Such
Linking Words
 harsh endeavours from
people
Use synonyms
 sometimes
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the only way to make results visible. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 scientific surveys give a grasp to higher-ups and individuals of what precisely we can make for our
surroundigs
Correct your spelling
surroundings
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis, collecting data from different parts of the world. By
analitical
Correct your spelling
analytical
 reports, urban and rural dwellers understand their abilities to help in preservation by donating and
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
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 others from polluting.
However
Linking Words
, some believe that citizens can not
influece
Correct your spelling
influence
environmental
Correct article usage
the environmental
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 agenda without governmental support, which is not
quite
Rephrase
apply
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often
due to
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 other social issues,
such
Linking Words
 as
pay
Correct article usage
the pay
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 gap and gender disparity. To nutshell the aforementioned, I am fully convinced that
people
Use synonyms
 should shoulder responsibility more in the sense of facilitating meetings on polluted air and soil, and what they can do themselves. The turning point comes
to
Change preposition
for
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people
Use synonyms
 who are vocal about the issue and push
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to accountability.

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language
Use clear, short sentences. Fix spellings and punctuation.
task
State your view at the start and keep it through the piece.
coherence
accuracy
content
The writer shows a real try to help people.
content
Real life examples are given to back up points.
structure
There is an intro and a close idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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