IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give you opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that there should be fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 for each type of
crime
Use synonyms
. Others,
however
Linking Words
, argue that the situation of an individual
crime
Use synonyms
 and the motivation for
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
 it should be taken into account when deciding the punishment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 who support fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 think that it is
more fair
Correct word choice
fairer
show examples
 and equal. If the same
crime
Use synonyms
 always
receive
Correct subject-verb agreement
receives
show examples
 the same punishment, everyone is treated in the same way.
This
Linking Words
 system can
also
Linking Words
 make the law
more clear
Correct word choice
clearer
show examples
 and easier to understand for citizens.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 may be less likely to commit crimes because they know exactly what punishment they will face.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that each
crime
Use synonyms
 is different and should be judged individually.
For example
Linking Words
, the motivation of the criminal and the personal situation should be
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
. Someone who
commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
show examples
 a
crime
Use synonyms
 because of poverty or personal problems is not the same as someone who
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
 with violence on purpose. Taking these elements into account can lead to more just decisions.
However
Linking Words
, judging each
crime
Use synonyms
 individually can
also
Linking Words
 create problems. Different judges may give different
punishments
Use synonyms
 for similar crimes, which can be seen as unfair.
This
Linking Words
 can reduce
people
Use synonyms
’s trust in the justice system. In my opinion, fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 can be useful, but they should not be applied in all situations. A balance is needed between clear rules and individual
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
show examples
 in order to achieve justice.

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planning
Plan your essay with a clear start and end. State your view in the intro and restate it in the end.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph and add a small real point to back it up.
coherence
Use words that show contrast and link ideas (for example, 'on the one hand', 'but', 'however').
content
Give more detail or small facts to the big idea to be strong.
grammar
Check small grammar errors; pay attention to how the verb and subject good match.
lexical
Use simple words and short phrases to be safe, not long hard words.
Task response
The essay shows both sides and gives an opinion.
Coherence
It uses contrast words to show opposite views.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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