IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart provides data on the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of guests that three different
musems
Correct your spelling
museums
 had, from the
year
Use synonyms
 2007 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the only
museum
Use synonyms
 that showed a steady change was The National Gallery,
while
Linking Words
 The Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
 and The British
Museum
Use synonyms
 were more unstable during the
5-
Correct your spelling
5-year period
year
Use synonyms
-period.
According to
Linking Words
 the statistics, over 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 people visited The National Gallery in 2007, which was its lowest point, before increasing consistently. The
museum
Use synonyms
 started to rise gradually until the
year
Use synonyms
 2010,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it showed a more noticeable change
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 over 10
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 and stayed the same for the following
year
Use synonyms
. In 2012, there
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a drastic jump in the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
, going up by almost 10
thousand
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 and reaching over 15
thousand
Use synonyms
. For the two other museums,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
 and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 British
Museum
Use synonyms
, there was an undeniable fluctuation. The Victoria and Albert
Museum
Use synonyms
 started off with a little less than 15
thousand
Use synonyms
guests
Punctuation problem
guests,
show examples
 where it stayed for two years before dropping and reaching a little over 5
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2010. In
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
show examples
 the
museum
Use synonyms
 started to gain more
visitors
Use synonyms
 again. By the end of
2012
Add a comma
2012,
show examples
 it had exactly 10
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
. As for The British
Museum
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in the beginning it had nearly 13
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
, by the next
year
Use synonyms
, it
plumeted
Correct your spelling
plummeted
 radically. After that, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 started to rise again
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 a little less than 15
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 by the end of the time frame.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, museum, thousand, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "a little less than" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • go up
  • decrease
  • fall
  • drop
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • rise steadily
  • fall gradually
  • stay the same
  • stay steady
  • peak
  • highest
  • lowest
  • more
  • less
  • compared with
  • in
  • over
  • the
  • period
  • year
  • between
  • across
  • pattern
  • trend
  • difference
  • overall
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