In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?

For some individuals in certain countries, it is extremely significant to possess your own
home
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unlike to
rent
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it. Probably, the main reason for it is the stability in your confidence and well-being. In my opinion,
this
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change is more negative than practical for our society. Some
people
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believe that owning a
home
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includes a lot of benefits.
For instance
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, you do not have to pay
rent
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each month, which is usually at least half of your income.
In addition
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, you are confident that no one will throw you on the streets when the rental agreement ends.
Moreover
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, from my experience, I have a friend who has a family and children, and they were excited by the fact that they could leave a
home
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as a legacy.
As a result
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, their children would have their
home
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, and they would not be worrying about renting or buying it for a
while
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.
On the other hand
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, for society, it is better that you
rent
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an apartment or house rather than own one. To my knowledge, the main reason for it is that the more the quantity of rented homes increases , the more opportunities it gives for
people
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who are willing to
rent
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them.
This
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allows them to choose freely among a large range of apartments and find the most appropriate one.
Additionally
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, a huge number of rented homes provides an opportunity for more
people
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to live in homes.
For example
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, my cousin got a job offer in the capital , and they were looking for a
home
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. If each
home
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had been in possession,
then
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they would not have been able to take the offer. But fortunately, there were some apartments available for renting, so they just used
this
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opportunity. In conclusion,
people
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want to possess their own
home
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because it reduces their expenses and stress. But, unfortunately, I do not consider it as positive for society
overall
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.

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structure
Start with a clear intro that says your view on owning or renting and what you will say next.
coherence
In each paragraph, focus on one main idea and use simple links like and, but, also to join ideas.
grammar
Check small grammar and common word use. use simple phrases and correct form.
content
Your view is clear and you give both sides.
support
You give a real life example, such as a family and a cousin, to back ideas.
structure
You show a contrast between owning and renting.
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