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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph illustrates the Dubai gold sales in 2002, showing monthly data points that reflect fluctuations in sales volume throughout the year.

The line graph illustrates the Dubai gold sales in 2002, showing monthly data points that reflect fluctuations in sales volume throughout the year.
The line graph illustrates the amount of
gold
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in Dubai over twelve months in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 of
gold
Use synonyms
 were in March.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in July and September,
sales
Use synonyms
 of
gold
Use synonyms
 were the lowest in the
Arabic
Correct word choice
Arab
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 market. Throughout 2002,
gold
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 fluctuated. In January,
gold
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 stood at 200, and
then
Linking Words
 slightly climbed to approximately 220 in February.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in March,
sales
Use synonyms
 rocketed to 350, which was the highest figure of the year. From the next
month
Use synonyms
,
sales
Use synonyms
 went down
:
Punctuation problem
apply
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 to 250 in April, 200 in May, almost 160 in June, and almost 120 in July.
Although
Linking Words
sales
Use synonyms
 rose again in August, reaching 200, surprisingly, in the next
month
Use synonyms
,
sales
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 dropped back to the lowest point of 120, the same as in July.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 rose to almost 180 in October
,
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 and remained constant until November. In the
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
 of the year,
sales
Use synonyms
 increased slightly to approximately 190, compared to the
month
Use synonyms
 before.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words gold, sales, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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