IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that countries should produce food for all population and import as little as possible.To what extent do you agree ordisagree?

A lot of people consider that
countries
Use synonyms
 are supposed to produce
food
Use synonyms
 for
all
Correct determiner usage
the entire
show examples
 population and import as little as possible. I partly agree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 idea. I believe that import productivities can solve the
country
Use synonyms
's problem in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 short term
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 for the most population should be prioritised as a more effective long-term
solution
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
Linking Words
According
Fix capitalization
according
show examples
 to the geographical environment of each
country
Use synonyms
, different crops will be produced, and the local diet can be enriched by importing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
different
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
foods. Meanwhile, in some
countries
Use synonyms
 with low crop production, in the short term, it can solve the
peoples
Check wording
people's
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 problem in order to make the
country
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better development than before. With the
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 development, the
country
Use synonyms
 will develop its economy, politics and culture. But it isn't an effective long-term
solution
Use synonyms
. It can't be used continuously, particularly
in the
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fundamental problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, producing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 for all population is a lasting
solution
Use synonyms
. With the tension of
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 situation, the war continues. So that the
country
Use synonyms
 only depends on
themselves
Fix the agreement mistake
itself,
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 not others. The importance of producing
food
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 appeared completely. And it
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 enlarge the industry's scale to provide more jobs for ordinary
person
Check wording
people
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. By attempting to yield enough
food
Use synonyms
 for people, a government will be able to
minimize
Change the spelling
minimise
show examples
 the
food
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 price in
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
solution
Use synonyms
 not only can
satisfied
Wrong verb form
satisfy
show examples
 people's demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 decrease the pressure on daily life.
This
Linking Words
 would seem significant for
countries
Use synonyms
 that rely on agriculture
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as India, Brazil and Mexico. In conclusion, different
countries
Use synonyms
 have different national situations. So that government should consider which way to harvest
food
Use synonyms
 is the most effective way to solve the national conditions.

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task response
Make your answer more clear from the start. Say exactly why you partly agree.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one clear reason and one clear example in each body part.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and real. Explain how each example supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more clear. Start each body paragraph with one strong main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check reference words and small link words. Some sentences are hard to follow because the links are weak.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear position: you partly agree.
task response
You include both sides of the topic, which helps show a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your main ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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