IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is no denying the fact that
people
Use synonyms
nowdays
Use the right word
nowadays
show examples
started
Verb problem
have started
show examples
 to spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 on personal enjoyment.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that they are supposed to do
things
Use synonyms
 they should do to make
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 lives better. There is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that it is true the fact that they should spend more
time
Use synonyms
focesing
Correct your spelling
focusing
 on
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 lives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 are often
folowing
Correct your spelling
following
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 desires more than they should.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are
sturgeling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 with doing the important
things
Use synonyms
,
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
helth
Correct your spelling
health
,
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
studes
Correct your spelling
studies
, and
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
dreems
Correct your spelling
dreams
.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can see many
people
Use synonyms
 are falling down, and
this
Linking Words
 is a problem you will find
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world.
For example
Linking Words
, the
numbre
Correct your spelling
number
 of
hoomles
Correct your spelling
homeless
people
Use synonyms
 started to
incresed
Correct your spelling
increase
 everywhere, because they all want to do what they like to do
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 what
should
Correct pronoun usage
they should
show examples
 do. Another point to consider
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the big impact they are
coseing
Correct your spelling
causing
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 countries.
Onther
Correct your spelling
Another
 way to say that, you can see that a lot of countries are trying to
encoreg
Correct your spelling
encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to work or find a
bussenes
Correct your spelling
business
, because they are having problems with
people
Use synonyms
 who are not trying to make
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 lives better.
For example
Linking Words
,
canada
Fix capitalization
Canada
show examples
 started to give more
opertonities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who do not have a job and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to
encoreg
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to start
agin
Correct your spelling
again
. In conclusion,
despit
Correct your spelling
despite
people
Use synonyms
 having
deffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 views, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 are really spending more
time
Use synonyms
 on other
things
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they should not spend it like that. What they should do is
maneging
Correct your spelling
manage
 the
time
Use synonyms
 between personal enjoyment and
things
Use synonyms
 they should do.

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task response
Plan your essay. Start with a clear view in one line. Then add 2 or 3 simple points with a small example for each.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas. Use words like first, next, also, but, for example.
grammar
Check spelling and fix big grammar errors. Read aloud to catch problems in each sentence.
lexical resource
Choose short, common words. Do not use hard or new words if you are unsure.
content
You pick a real topic and try to give a view.
stance
You show a clear view on the topic.
structure
There is a try to give reasons and an example.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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